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"It takes double space," my wife insisted. "We have four strollers.
I stared in silence. Slowly it sunk in. Yes, there were two Davids who were humor columnists, but there were also two Davids who were stroller-mongers.
Uh-oh. My wife was smiling again. She was watched for just right moment to strike. "Our baby has more seats in this house than anybody else has."
"That's ridiculous." No sooner had words left my mouth than I remembered boomerang rule. Words like ridiculous, ludicrous, silly, stupid and big mouth usually apply only to person who speaks them.
My wife rhymed off our seats, "Three on couch, two chairs in living room, six in kitchen, one in bathroom and one at each of our desks. Plus three red chairs Little Lady has in living room. That makes 17."
"Ha!" I knew it couldn't be true.
Then came that deadly sweet smile again, smile that said, "Take my hand while I lead you around house to see why you should think first and shout 'Aha!' later."
In kitchen stood high chair and sit-in play saucer. In her office sat rocking chair that never rocked and bouncy chair that never bounced. There was swing seat, and there were two cushion seats for sitting upright on floor. She opened door to enclosed porch, and there were four strollers and car seat she would soon be using.
"That makes 12," my wife tallied. "We each have fewer than six."
I thought really hard. "Aha!" I said again, proudly pointing out that this time I had thought first and shouted 'Aha!' later.. "We have three chairs on balcony, and six on patio. There are also six folding chairs for fire pit."
Desperate times call for desperate measures, and there was no reason to forget all outdoors furniture at a time like this. Unfortunately, there was no reason to forget arithmetic, either. Our baby still had most seats in house – and outside house, too.
"Uh, do toilet seats count?"
My wife smiled her sweet smile again, a smile that could only mean, "So, stroller monger, what do you have to say for yourself now?"
I knew that another humor columnist named David had just been labeled a traitor. Meekly, I mumbled. "Lawn tractor seat?"
David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html Read his humor articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.html Visit his home page: http://www.thehappyguy.com David is owner of The Liquid Vitamin Supplements Store: http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net