Top 10 Ways To Irritate Your VisitorsWritten by David Bell
Continued from page 1 6. Sign up to use a really slow-loading hit counter and put button inside of a TABLE so that nothing appears until hit-counter responds. This is possibly best way to keep visitors from stealing from you as it keeps them from even reading your content and possibly typing it into their site from memory. For this to work reliably, you must avoid putting height and width into call for hit counter graphic. You can improve effectiveness of this technique by inserting not only a hit counter button, but a long string of banner exchange banners. 7. For occasional visitor that inadvertently makes their way to your ezine subscription form, fear not. All is not lost. You can still rid yourself of them by asking lots and lots of personal questions. Don't just ask for their email address. Ask for their mailing address, phone number, sex, age, hobbies, religion, race and some other things best not discussed here. This technique works equally well when applied to your order forms and minimizes your trip to UPS office to ship products. 8. Splash page. You gotta have a Splash Page. Lots of slow loading animation. If you can combine this with requirement to download another obscure plug-in, you'll have hit a home run. I'm especially impressed by many sites that have upped ante to include two splash pages before you ever get to even first word of content. Stunning! Brilliant! 9. Reconfigure visitor's browser window. This will drive them crazy! People hate it when you run a script on your pages that expands user's browser window to fill entire screen and then do away with all of browser Toolbar features such as Navigation Toolbar and Location Toolbar, 10 Finally, an oldie but goodie. Make your background dark and your text just a shade or two brighter. This makes it impossible to read your text and will rid you of visitors before they have a chance to clog up you server logs. If this is not possible on your site, use alternate technique of putting most of your content in PDF files so that visitor has to download them and launch another application. Very effective. Did I mention that all of these cool ways to irritate visitors work even better at driving away people reviewing your site for places like Yahoo, LookSmart and other directories to whom you've paid large sums of money to review your site and add it to their directory? I hope this helps in your future marketing decisions.

David Bell is Manager, Online Marketing, at http://www.wspromotion.com/ , a leading Search Engine Optimization services firm and Advertising Agency.
| | How to republish RSS feeds on your websiteWritten by Allan Burns
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RSS Equalizer is a PHP script that runs from your server so you will need to make sure your host can run PHP, most web hosts do. Once installed and set up RSS Equalizer can be left to parse content from RSS feeds and produce a readable HTML format pages on your website. If you have any programming experience or know a little PHP then there are some other free tools that you can use. These PHP scripts will allow you to parse RSS feeds and if you know PHP will give you more options for customisation. These tools are CaRP, Last RSS and zFeeder. If you have time and feel you can handle PHP then free PHP scripts above will be your best option. If you neither have time or inclination and want hard work already done for you then try out RSS Equalizer, its not free but it's best option for non programmer.

Allan is the webmaster at NewsNiche an RSS resource for webmasters. Learn how to use RSS to attract and retain visitors to your site.
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