A powerful way of moving beyond being stuck is to do following three-part anger process:

1. Let yourself get really angry at someone in present (without that person being there - you do this alone). Yell and pound, letting yourself blame this person in detail for all your misery.

2. Who does this person remind you of from past - mother, father, grandparent, sibling? Let yourself yell and pound, letting out all your past anger and resentment.

3. Finally - and this is most important part - let angry child in you yell at adult in you for how you are not taking care of yourself, for how you are like people in present and past you yelled at, how you are creating your own misery by not standing up for yourself, not taking loving action for yourself, and so on. This brings you to personal responsibility and takes you out of seeing yourself as a victim of others’ choices or of past.

Once you understand how you are causing your own unhappiness by not taking care of yourself, then you need to open to learning about what is loving action toward yourself. By sincerely asking, "What is loving action? What is in my highest good?", answers will pop into your mind. Then, of course, you need to take loving action you are being guided to take. Without loving action in your own behalf, nothing will change.

Think of sad, depressed, resistant, or angry part of you as a little child who is needing love. If you wait for someone else to love that child, you may wait forever. It is only when we are infants and toddlers that others may attend to what we need. As adults, it is our job to take care of our own feelings and needs. If you think of yourself as parent of this child within - feeling part of you - it may make it easier to take responsibility for yourself.

Happiness, peace and joy are result of loving ourselves and others, rather than from being loved. When you really understand this and take action based on this truth, you will find your joy.

Still others use trifles to escape from reality of hard work and perseverance and to deviate ones attention from pressing and yet life-changing events. And others focus on unimportant to justify their current poor predicament. Of course, it’s more convenient to focus on insignificant yet easy endeavor rather than focus on vital yet difficult undertaking.

Whatever purpose it serves, trifles are wastes of time that should be relegated to trash without hesitation.

Accept things that can’t be changed

Dwelling on things beyond your control is disastrous. Just imagine trying to change weather, past, your physical looks, or where you’re born?

I remember an elderly man who died unhappy and broke. While still alive, he questioned his father’s will (certified to be genuine) which he declared as unfair. He fought his siblings, went to court, annoyed his own lawyers, and agitated his wife and children. In end, he lost all $1 million inheritance money due to lawyer’s fees and court appearances.

People end up in psychiatrist’s couch because of this sad predilection. A lot of stresses, neurosis, and conflicts arise by trying to change unchangeable.

Learning to accept things way they are is a virtue. Although initially difficult, acceptance has its reward – peace of mind. Move on

After ignoring trifles and accepting unchangeable, moving on is next important step. The focus should be on life-changing goals, on things that matter. Moreover, one should focus on things that can be improved and resolved.

Life is change. Life is in constant motion. Stopping its motion is like allowing a river to stagnate and die.

Have a life. Move on!