4. Don't overbook or overstay a good amount of time with relatives/friends. Sometimes a shorter stay works best and leaves you energy and space to get back to your own home and decompress.

5. Look for ways to give to or do for others. Feeling useful and appreciated will provide a great boost to your holiday spirits. Check into volunteer opportunities at local shelters and nursing homes or through any local church or nonprofit group.

6. Don't plan to spend entire holiday season with married /coupled family and friends. Seek out other singles and singles groups/ activities where you can feel relaxed and able to share with folks you have more in common with at this time. Better yet, plan a get together with other singles for one of holidays. A festive potluck meal, tree trimming party or other holiday event would probably be much appreciated.

7. Do avoid using food, alcohol or drugs to cope with holiday stress. Nothing is worse than feelings that follow use (or wrong use) of these things. This way of coping leads to depression, low self-esteem and a greater sense of isolation and despair.

8. Do decorate your home with any and all things that make it feel more festive and fun for YOU. Tune into all those wonderful traditions you grew up with. It does not have to be very costly or time consuming to begin your own traditions in your own place. Don't put off or deny yourself those happy holiday expressions, as you wait for your significant other. Make your life all it can be right now.

9. Consider emphasizing more spiritual aspects of holiday. Go to a concert featuring religious holiday music or attend a church (or other) service, (even better with a friend).

10. Finally, going away to an exotic place may be just what you do need. Look into tour or vacation packages for singles. This may provide plenty of rest and relaxation and help you meet new friends and develop new interests.

Whatever you decide to do for your holidays, have fun and enjoy them. Focus on taking care of yourself and doing what is right for you. This way you will also be giving your best to those around you. Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman LCSW Consum-mate http://www.consum-mate.com 703-847-1768

7. Throw a small holiday get-together with a few other couples (or friends). Plan an activity such as trimming tree or lighting menorah. Be sure to serve festive food and drink. A bonus would be to have a secret Santa gift exchange. This would be where each person brings a gift ($10.00 or less). Everyone picks a number. Person with number one begins with first selection. Go through all numbers and open each gift in front of group. Exchanging is fine and provides some extra fun. Lots of laughs and very interactive.

8. Choose your or his/her place, stay home, rent old holiday classics, light fire and cook a simple but festive meal together. Play holiday music while you cook. Then watch (a few if you like) holiday favorites together. Or, you can bake Christmas cookies or other holiday treats together while listening to music and enjoying fire.

9. Work at a soup kitchen one day (meal) together. Sharing experience of giving is a wonderful way to get to know someone and deepen a relationship. It is also a great way to get into true holiday spirit. After clean up, go for a walk followed by coffee or a nightcap.

10. Go to a planetarium (if one is nearby). Enjoy spectacular winter sky together. There is usually a guided “show” that you can experience as you sit closely, (perhaps hand in hand?). Try to pick out constellations together as you walk back to your car. It is always nice to have an intimate meal afterwards.

See if you can add some ideas of your own to this list. Then put aside several evenings over next few weeks and awaken those feelings of peace, joy and goodwill for others.

Happy Holidays!

Toni Coleman LCSW Consum-mate http://www.consum-mate.com Helping Singles Create Lasting Relationships