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As a client told me, if God had told him 21 years ago he'd give him Joshua, so much happiness and pleasure, and then take him away in 21 years, he would still "take deal."
I'm humbled by this client who now must measure depth of pleasure with depth of his sorrow. Crises give meaning to pat phrases we’ve read. When I got phone call my son was in ICU and not expected to live, Churchill’s words came to me, "This will be our finest hour." I knew I might be called upon to endure every Mother’s nightmare, and if he died, and I survived it, and thrived again, it would require my soul’s resources.
It’s terrifying to keep loving with all your heart and soul in face of loss, and it is also antidote. The greater loss, thing to fear more, would be not to fully love when we could’ve.
We learn to forgive, by forgiving. We learn to love, by loving. We learn compassion, by being compassionate. And we learn to survive loss, by surviving loss. There's no other way.
©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Emotional intelligence coaching. “The death of a child diminishes us all,” grief coaching - http://www.susandunn.cc/grief.htm. For free ezines: http://www.eqcoach.net/newslettersignupalt.html .