There are three critical steps you must take to change a life situation: 1. Acknowledge that you have power to create new life situation you desire. This is important, for if you feel powerless to make change you’re contemplating you will be powerless to make change. Hoping you can stop smoking is insufficient. You must know you can stop smoking.

2. Acknowledge that you want to change. This is your life. The life situation you’re contemplating must be something you sincerely desire, not something someone else wants for you. If smoking is your issue, to say to yourself, "I’ll try to stop smoking" is insufficient. You must commit to it.

3. To make a fundamental change in life, you must focus on positive aspects of desired situation, not negative aspects of current situation. By focusing on positives of your desired situation you will emit high frequency energy of positivism. And you will attract positive situations and circumstances of your resolution.

If I’m to stop smoking, I must be able to see myself in a positive way as a non-smoker. Not only must I visualize being a non-smoker, but I must also be able to see myself reaping inherent benefits of not smoking: healthy lungs, clean-smelling clothing, white teeth, unstained fingers, and extra spending money. To make a change to your life situation you must be able to see yourself-positively-in new situation. The law of attraction will then work for you.

6. BE HUMAN - You may assume things will be fine, and suddenly a song brings back memories... then pain. Feel pain. Tears are an honest expression of love and sadness. It's okay. It's also okay to shift plans in moment if needed.

7. MEMORIALIZE YOUR LOVED ONE - Make a donation to a charity in honor of your loved one who has died. If you're depressed, make a donation to mental health research through NAMI.

8. TALK ABOUT THE DECEASED - It's healthy and normal to tell stories about deceased.

9. KEEP GOOD COMPANY - Choose to be around folks you feel safe and comfortable with during holiday season.

10. BE WARY OF QUICK FIXES - Folks who hurt are particularly vulnerable during holidays. Watch out for alcohol and drug abuse, over-spending etc.

11. PRACTICE GUIDE - Make a list of all gifts your loved one brought to world. Keep these close by. Or make a list of all things you're grateful for in your life.

12. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF - Practice love towards yourself that Christ taught us.

Please allow for your humanness, for fluctuations in your mood. If you are suffering, you're working with much less physical and emotional energy than most. Remember, grieving is nature's way of healing mind, body and spirit. Allow yourself access to grief, while your wounds heal. You'll be up and running again when it's time.

May God's healing arms wrap you up throughout holidays.