Think before you speak

Written by Graham Yemm

Continued from page 1

These can all berepparttar same place andrepparttar 142513 same holiday. Which one appeals to you more? One key element of communication isrepparttar 142514 way we process, or “represent” words.

None of above is “better” than any ofrepparttar 142515 others. The fact is, we are either “visual”, kinaesthetic (feelings based), or auditory. Although we all have a capability of using all three, we will almost certainly have a preference for one of these, possibly with another as a back up. So, when we are remembering events we will use whichever of these is more natural for us. Someone who naturally usesrepparttar 142516 visual channel we will tend to talk abut their holiday experience in language which paints pictures. They can see those clearly in their own minds and, therefore, will use words to sharerepparttar 142517 picture with others. No problem for an audience who can also go into their visual channel. Not so effective for those who are stronger in one ofrepparttar 142518 other channels. I wonder which you are?

When we are planning to talk to others, whether in your teams at work, potential customers or suppliers it helps to realise that not everyone shares your preferred style for processing information. The first step is to recognise which might be your preference. It is probable that you will use language which fits this when you are expressing yourself. This is why we are suggesting you need to develop your flexibility.

When we talk about “think before you speak” we are encouraging you to do a few things. As a first step, think aboutrepparttar 142519 receiver, or receivers. What do you know about them, their likely response to your message (given your filters) and their level of understanding? When you have takenrepparttar 142520 time to consider this information you can aim to pitch your message atrepparttar 142521 right level forrepparttar 142522 audience.

The next step can be to think aboutrepparttar 142523 receiver and consider where they might be onrepparttar 142524 visual, auditory or kinaesthetic scale. This is obviously easier when you are dealing with individuals. When addressing a group, it is reasonable to presume that you need to think about covering all three, although visual and kinaesthetic will probably berepparttar 142525 majority.

To build up your awareness of others, you can look for some indicators. They may not give yourepparttar 142526 whole answer, but they can steer yourepparttar 142527 right way. “Visuals” will often talk with language that use picture-type words. Colours, images and scenes will be in their vocabulary. They paint pictures with their words. They will also tend to talk more quickly, be more animated and their gestures will be wider – using their hands to reinforcerepparttar 142528 picture. They may well be gesturing from chest upwards and outwards too.

“Kinaesthetics” will use feeling language. They talk about how they feel, need to grasp things, and so on. Their feeling language may be about tangible feelings, ie getting hold of something, how hard or soft it is, or it could be more about emotion. They will often speak more slowly, taking time to think about things and their feelings and checking them before speaking. They do not gesture expansively, and may well move hands towards themselves, especially to their centre and even touch themselves or hold something.

“Auditories” will enjoy talking about things! They often question a lot, want to discuss things. They want to know that things sound right! Their clues are harder to spot in many ways as they can be more subtle. Listen for words to do with hearing, sounding right. Their gestures might be more rhythmic and are often addressed torepparttar 142529 mouth, head and ears.

This might seem like a lot to consider before you speak. The trouble for all of us is that we spend much of our life talking - and it works to some extent. When it does not, we can have a tendency to blame others for not understanding. Well, it is not their fault! As a sender of a message, we have a responsibility to pitch it to be right forrepparttar 142530 receiver. We need to not only dorepparttar 142531 basics of considering their level and likely response as mentioned earlier, we also need to do our best to deliver it on their wavelength. We need to remember they may not be tuned in torepparttar 142532 same one as we are sending on! By taking some time to think about our own preferences, we can identify which processing styles we might be missing. From here, we can work on increasing our flexibility to userepparttar 142533 right language to coverrepparttar 142534 others.

Remember – “the meaning of my communication isrepparttar 142535 response I get”.

Graham Yemm a founding partner of Solutions 4 Training Ltd. He has worked with many different organisations around the world conducting both training and consultancy assignments. He is a Master Practitioner of NLP and an accredited trainer for the LAB profile programme – “Words that Change Minds”. Contact,

Blogs and Chat Forums: The Unofficial Posting Rules

Written by Dina Giolitto,

Continued from page 1

If you ask people what they think, they'll feel encouraged to jump intorepparttar discussion... and that's what you want, isn't it? Ask questions, and let folks know you're open to new points of view. When you word your ideas inrepparttar 142211 from of questions, you're basically saying "Hey, I know I don't have allrepparttar 142212 answers. But I'm thinking, and I'd love for you to add your insights." Then, by phrasing your questions in a specific way, you can gently 'lead'repparttar 142213 conversation. Next time you have a strong opinion to state, practice rephrasing it into a question. "What ways might we practice common courtesy in an effort to improve internet communication?" There, see how easy that was?

4. Rememberrepparttar 142214 real-time issue.

If you haven't noticed, real-time has some wacky effects on internet communication. Sometimes, messages look like they're written in response to something someone else said... when really, they just landed there by sheer coincidence!

Suppose someone posts a remark at 9:05 a.m. Pacific Time, as you just happen to be postingrepparttar 142215 exact opposite viewpoint at 12:05 p.m. Eastern Time. Whenrepparttar 142216 messages "land" one afterrepparttar 142217 other, it createsrepparttar 142218 illusion thatrepparttar 142219 second person was arguing withrepparttar 142220 first person, when actually they were not and had no knowledge ofrepparttar 142221 other person's post! Whoa. That's real-time at work, and it's some crazy stuff. The lesson to be learned: don't assume anything, especially onrepparttar 142222 internet.

The other way that real-time can botch uprepparttar 142223 works is if you're seeking advice or technical support. You post a question, some time elapses, andrepparttar 142224 moderator replies. But by now, you've figured outrepparttar 142225 answer and it's led you to a third complication. Now, you can either try and over-explainrepparttar 142226 confusion in an effort to be polite, or say to yourself, "the heck with this" and leaverepparttar 142227 discussion, which could be perceived as rude. It's quite a fretful situation. Keeping this in mind...

5. Think before you speak.

Usingrepparttar 142228 example from Point 4: thinking before you ask technical questions can save everybodyrepparttar 142229 exhaustion of over-communication. Rather than blurt out your confusion, have a look around, see what's going down. Is there an FAQ section you can refer to?

I have been known to dive right in torepparttar 142230 chat without knowing whatrepparttar 142231 heck is happening. As a result, I am familiar withrepparttar 142232 taste of shoe leather. If you're puzzled about what's going on in a public forum discussion... can you go back and read a few old posts to get caught up? You'll save everyone a lot of wasted words if you just get withrepparttar 142233 program. I learnedrepparttar 142234 hard way, but you don't have to.

"Think before you speak" also means proofread. Be onrepparttar 142235 lookout for ambiguous content. If you're tired, stressed or feeling underrepparttar 142236 weather, you may have some trouble getting your point across. Maybe it's notrepparttar 142237 best time to communicate.

As a writer, I'm acutely aware of word choice. Userepparttar 142238 wrong word, and WOOOPS- somebody is gettingrepparttar 142239 total wrong idea. Copywriters have a chance to write multiple drafts – and in that way, get multiple chances to refine what they say in their writing. Internet posters don't have this option. Once you hit POST, you can't take back what you've written. All you can do is send MORE posts, and give folksrepparttar 142240 impression that you are a babbling fool! So, for your own sake, heed my words, take your time, think about what you want to say, and PROOFREAD!

Above all, keep a positive attitude and an open mind. Welcome others' opinions while gently expressing your own. Be forgiving and patient with people and their bumbling ways. Be a good internet communicator.

Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved.

Find out how crisp, targeted copywriting can make a world of difference for your business. Dina Giolitto is a Copywriting Consultant with ten years of experience. Visit for free tips on branding, copywriting, marketing and more. Request a project quote by email:

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