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Also we have to cope with change and speed. Something needs to be done, and done immediately, like kitten in Lowe’s store, and what’s needed is two-sided accountability, that’s all.
On a recent cruise (being a coach, I speak on cruise ships), my sister and I stayed on board when it docked at Cozumel to enjoy pool to ourselves. As we sat poolside, a swarm of bees came aboard. They descended upon one of loud speakers, and wrapped themselves around it in a dark black cloud. Something about vibrations, my sister said.
My sister lives in San Diego, near Mexican border, of course, and there are killer bees there. She also knew exactly what to do with them. “Get a vacuum cleaner,” she told staff and crew who were beginning to appear.
No one listened. They cordoned off area with yellow tape. Others were called. Eventually captain appeared.
Fast forward … 45 minutes later a steward was called to bring a vacuum cleaner and bees were vacuumed up.
WHERE WILL YOU GET HELP
Are ship captain’s trained to deal with killer bees, or store managers trained to deal with bird infestations?
Think of this with relationships in your life – both at work and at home. Do you treat your administrative assistant like she’s a few notches down ladder from you? Do you treat your teenagers like employees? If so, what’s going to happen when you need their help on something, or they know about something you don’t, and you have to ask. If you set yourself up in this position, you’ll feel uncomfortable asking because you’ll “lose face.”
And if you hold yourself in this exalted position, person “beneath you” who knows how to do it, will hold silent, to preserve your ego, or to preserve their job, or to avoid making you “mad” and you will have lost.
Whichever way you look at it working partnerships and joint accountability are far more productive than hierarchical relationships.
One last example. When my son was 13 years old, we were riding in car and I got stopped by a policeman. My son started talking minute I was pulled over and I turned around and told him to be quiet. I wanted to be able to think.
The policeman checked my license and then looked at my inspection sticker and said it was out-of-date. My son started to try to speak again, and I motioned him to be quiet.
The end of story … under pressure of situation, it being February, policeman was reading wrong date on inspection sticker, and it actually WAS up-to-date. Finally when I “let” my son speak, he told us both this. He wasn’t afraid to make us both look like … well, like two confused adult people we were.
Use your emotional intelligence and allow everyone around you space to contribute. It’s a win-win situation.
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . I offer coaching, distance learning courses, and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your continued personal and professional development. EQ is more important to your success, health and happiness than IQ, and it can be learned. Start today! For free ezine, mailto:email@example.com.