There Was A Time, When........

Written by (Pat @Maxaid)

Continued from page 1

There was a time when "Free" really meant Free, no strings attached.

There was a time when "Tons" was a unit of weight measure.

There was a time when "FFA" meant "Future Farmers of America".

There was a time when "Private Members Club" was Tues. night poker.

There was a time when " If You had told me I'd be doing this now" I would've told you, that you were a prime candidate forrepparttar Looney Bin :-)

Pat @Maxaid - Publisher of Maxaid News The Un-Ordinary Ezine, The whole Truth and nothing butrepparttar 118304 Truth, about marketing online. Subscribe at

Pat @Maxaid - Publisher of Maxaid News The Un-Ordinary Ezine, The whole Truth and nothing but the Truth, about marketing online. Subscribe at

Zombie, and Other Assorted Un-dead Types

Written by By S. Joan Popek

Continued from page 1

“But they’re dead!” you say. Yes and no. Why do you think we call them un-dead? They’re walking aren’t they? Well really sort of shuffling, but they’re on two feet. And they talk or moan or groan or something alongrepparttar guttural lines. And they always know exactly whererepparttar 118303 people they are chasing are because they always show up no matter whererepparttar 118304 hero runs with his heroine. That means they have control of their faculties, right?

Speaking of control, have you ever noticed that zombies never need to go torepparttar 118305 bathroom? They devour entire human bodies, (using atrocious table manners, I might add) and drink gallons of human blood, but they never have to go. Why is that? Maybe kidneys of steel are a requirement to be in flick like this?

And their personal hygiene, UGGH! Matted hair, toothless mouths, grubby skin, and tattered clothes. Haven’t they ever heard of Colgate®? And they don’t care! They even sometimes have orgies around a bonfire and not a drop of water or a cake of soap anywhere in sight. Not even a single spray of Binaca®! What kind of logic is that? I wouldn’t think of attending an orgy without my breath mints–Ahem–er–uh–not that I’ve ever–ah–well anyway, back to zombies.

I think someone ought to setrepparttar 118306 movie industry straight. Un-dead creatures deserverepparttar 118307 same treatment as any other monster. Heck, even The Blob took an occasional dip inrepparttar 118308 river. And did you ever saw Dracula in a wrinkled suit? Get with it Hollywood. Clean up your act. Justa Rant, Jo

Copyright 2000 S. Joan Popek. Copyright on all material in this publication is held by S. Joan Popek. Any use without expressed written permission is strictly prohibited.

S. Joan Popek publishing accomplishments include the EPPIE 2000 Award winner, THE ADMINISTRATOR from The Fiction Works, SOUND THE RAM'S HORN, previously from and soon available from Hard Shell Word Factory, and a nonfiction, JUMP START YOUR CAREER WITH ELECTRONIC PUBLISHERS, an EPPIE 2002 Finalist, is now available at Atlantic Bridge Publishing.

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