The reasons for my low self esteem

Written by Stephen Hill

Continued from page 1

Atrepparttar age of twenty two after about eleven months of sheer hard work and practice I managed to overcomerepparttar 146796 stutter and I now help other people who stutter to achieve fluency as well as helping people with confidence problems.

For more information about how I overcamerepparttar 146797 stutter please refer to or contact me for an information pack.


I always had a lack of belief in certain areas.

I would notice a female in a bar for example and would want to go over and talk to her but would haverepparttar 146798 negative attitude of Iím not good enough, why would she be interested in me? I stutter, I have a bald patch, I have a menial job and I am very thin.

Even if I approach her and am successful, I would then be expected to buy her a drink, possibly phone her, possibly meet her parents, and maybe even get married! The thought of attempting these things with a stutter and with a lack of social confidence was far too daunting for me.

I left school at sixteen mainly due to a lack of confidence andrepparttar 146799 stutter, but then hadrepparttar 146800 problem of finding a job. Again my lack of belief came shining through. Who would want to employ somebody with a stutter, who has a lack of confidence and who is shy around people?


After leaving school atrepparttar 146801 age of sixteen I now had to find employment. Suffering with a stutter and a general lack of confidence meant that work involvingrepparttar 146802 phone or regular interaction with other people were not really an option.

I decided that I could probably cope with filing duties in an office and eventually gained a position at an insurance company.

I started atrepparttar 146803 lowest grade, a grade two andrepparttar 146804 work was routine and mundane. The average time to stay at this level before being promoted was six months. The grade three post involved sharing a phone and this is something I found very difficult to use.

To become upgraded you had to apply in writing torepparttar 146805 personal officer and then if you passedrepparttar 146806 interview were then promoted. My attitude was that if I donít apply I would stay as a grade two, which is what I wanted. I was probablyrepparttar 146807 only person inrepparttar 146808 country who did not want to be promoted.

My boss would ask me at regular intervals why I was not applying and I would make up an excuse. To keep him happy I tookrepparttar 146809 insurance exams. After three years I had completedrepparttar 146810 first qualification which was a set of five exams. To my horror my boss congratulated me by stating that he was upgrading me to a grade three starting Monday withoutrepparttar 146811 need of an interview.

This promotion should in effect have given me a confidence boost however with my stutter out of control underrepparttar 146812 pressure and some of my colleagues mocking me I became more and more withdrawn and depressed.

I would be invited to social events and would make up excuses of why I could not go as I had a lack of belief that I could cope withrepparttar 146813 occasion and allrepparttar 146814 socialising involved.

If you are interested in a free link exchange program where you receive ten backward links please click here (link to

Stephen Hill is somebody who has overcome a stammer/stutter and who now helps other people to achieve fluency. Stephen runs one to one speech courses held in Birmingham, England. For people who are unable to attend there is a seventy minute dvd available. His main website is at

What to Look for in the Person You Marry

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach

Continued from page 1

As you read these, if you ASSUME that one or more of them is what everyone wants, you particularly need to pay attention, because in actuality itís amazing what people do want and expect that other people donít.

Itís important to know what you want, and then to observerepparttar person youíre considering marrying. Tom, for instance, primarily wanted a homemaker and recreational playmate from a wife. Middle-aged, he fell in love with a woman in her mid-30s who had never been married. This should have been a red-flag that domestic life probably wasnít what she was interested in. Once married, she became ardently interested in a career, since he provided herrepparttar 146791 opportunity to get further education, and as she turned her focus there, all hopes of recreational companionship for Tom vanished. She, onrepparttar 146792 other hand, had expected emotionally oriented conversation from him (openness), and joint accelerating career and financial goals. To him, ďshe never cooked or cleaned house.Ē To her, ďhe just wanted to play.Ē

It is devastating when we love someone and find out too late they arenít interested inrepparttar 146793 same things. It is hard to trade off meeting needs that really arenít felt and enjoyed, and accommodation isnít always possible, i.e., you either are faithful or you arenít, you either want kids or you donít. If you want financial support from a man, itís best to find one who really loves to make money. If you want physical affection from a woman, itís best to find one who canít keep her hands off you. These things canít be faked, but, sometimes, when falling in love, we fool ourselves and therefore foolrepparttar 146794 other person.

Issues can become clouded during courtship, especially when there is sex too soon. Physical intimacy causes those wonderful chemicals that cloud our thinking, and startrepparttar 146795 bonding process. We can start to need and want a person who ultimately may not be able to meet our marital needs.

Take some time to envision carefully what you want marriage to look like. Observerepparttar 146796 person you have in mind in different situations. For instance, Tom might have noticed, if he hadnít been so ďin love,Ē that his partner didnít know how to cook and was never at home. She, onrepparttar 146797 other hand, might have noticed most of his time and enthusiasm went into his recreation, and that he was content with his job and financial situationrepparttar 146798 way they were.

Nothing is insurmountable, but you increase your chances by being mindful atrepparttar 146799 outset. Couples surviverepparttar 146800 infertility of one when they both wanted children, and a spouse can learn to verbalize, or make physical,repparttar 146801 affection they feel, if they want to please, butrepparttar 146802 couch potato and amateur athlete who marry will canít accommodate, andrepparttar 146803 career-driven women wonít be happy baking bread and being available for tennis games.

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, . Coaching, Internet courses and ebooks around emotional intelligence for your personal and professional success. Training and certifying EQ coaches. Email for information on this affordable, fast, effective, no-residency program. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn for free ezine.

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