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6. DEMOGRAPHIC MYOPIA
If I came to buy vacuum bags, do you really think
black and red porn-palace motif is appropriate? Do vacuum bags have another use I'm not aware of? (Don't answer that!)
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7. MORE IS LESS
Vacuum bags may be your life, but to us normal people they're... well, vacuum bags. We don't want a huge selection. We don't want to think. We don't want colors, sizes, scents, textures, or frequent flier miles. We just want some zero-hassle, reasonably priced, work-like-they're-s'posta vacuum bags. Got any of those?
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8. LESS IS MORE
o Wrap some chains around your "Vacuum Bag Buyers' Forum" and toss it overboard. Ditto
headline news feed,
search engine access, and
design award from
from someone who can't even design an award.
o That blinking "Recommend This Website To Your Friends" button might be more effective as a blinking "Order Some Vacuum Bags And Get On With Your Life" button.
o Oh, and thanks for
free email account offer, but LindaCox@VacuumBagKingUSA.net is a tad clunky for my needs.
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9. SLIGHTLY ANAL WEBMASTER
Thank you for letting me know
best monitor resolution for viewing your vacuum bag site. That'll come in real handy when I'm trying to think of
ninth dumb annoying thing about it.
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10. ABRASIVE HOSPITALITY
Whoever told you it was important to be chatty and clever with your visitors was yanking your mouse. If you wanna build rapport, go stick your tongue in someone's ear. If you wanna make a sale, sell.
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So there it is... a few friendly insights from Linda's Through-A-Goose School of Internet Marketing.
It only applies to certain businesses, of course, but don't be too hasty in assuming that yours isn't one of them. If your stats show that most of your hard-won visitors are heading out through
in door, it might be time for a little stream- lining.
Maybe then, through
mysterious forces of cyber- alchemy, your website will be able to convert vacuum bags into golden eggs!

Linda Cox, J.A.M.G., went to sleep and dreamed she was a butterfly. Now she wonders whether she's a woman who dreamed she was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming that it's Just Another Marketing Guru. More Linda: http://www.LindaCox.com