Continued from page 1
5-Make Moderate Demands
No one likes having demands placed upon him. Children are no different. Yet we are constantly commanding our children. We feel that as parents we must take steps to correct every misdemeanor that we see. When orders become excessive or arbitrary parent becomes more like a dictator that an educator. If you place a lot of obligations on your child, then your child is going to resent and resist your authority. One of most important steps in getting your child to listen to you is to reduce amount of demands that you place upon him. This will require you to stay calm and overlook a lot of childish behavior. Commands should be made thoughtfully and be within reasonable limits. The general rule is that if a certain behavior is not something your child will be doing as an adult and if it is not dangerous, then you should not make it a priority to correct.
Even if you do all that has been mentioned so far, you will still need to give your child orders. When you do so, you must be firm and make sure that your child obeys. If you give your child an instruction you must insist that he fulfill it. Often it will be easier or more convenient to just overlook disobedience. This is end will erode your authority as a parent.
You should only make moderate and well thought out demands on your child. However, when you do make those orders your child must fulfill them. If we want our children to take our words seriously, then we must show them that we are serious.
7-Be Free with ‘Yes', but not with ‘No'
We must try to grant every reasonable request our children make of us. They should feel that we are giving to them freely and in overflowing abundance at all times. You should make it a rule to give your child whatever he wants unless you have a good reason not to do so.
In addition, we should try to temper our use of ‘no'. Try not to avoid saying ‘no' whenever possible. For example, if your child wants to have a treat before dinner and you want him to eat first, rather than say ‘no' or ‘not now' say, ‘yes, after dinner.' This small change in way you use words ‘yes' and ‘no' will change your child's perception from feeling that most of his desires are being denied to that most of them are being granted.
It is natural for a child to want to obey his parents. It is also necessary for his proper growth and development. Applying these seven keys will help you to make it easier for your child to obey you. If you want to see how you are doing as a parent, see our Parenting Quiz at http://addadhdadvances.com/parentquiz.html . If you want more information on ways that you can teach even most difficult child to obey you, please see our Child Behavior Program at http://addadhdadvances.com/child-behavior.html
Anthony Kane, MD ADD ADHD Advances http://addadhdadvances.com
Anthony Kane, MD is a physician and international lecturer. Get help for your ADHD child, including (http://addadhdadvances.com/child-behavior.html) child behavior advice, and help with (http://addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html)Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal. Send an email to: email@example.com?subject=subsart.