Continued from page 1
Brava Carla!
A similar story from photographer and artist Kirsten Oppe about her fear of staging her next exhibit (http://www.cafegutenberg.com/news/articleDisplay.php?UID=23):
"Perhaps I forgot that even when one's path is one of bliss .... even when it starts out with that joyous burst of energy in
spark of an idea and wide beaming smile of initial reactions to that idea........ it does not inoculate one against actual work, rub of proverbial grinding stone against one's shoulder! Funny, but that knocks me every time! [Jen's note: There is that learning edge again! We need a more generative story about what is normal when we are creative, when we are learning, that it is normal to be lost, scared, bored, frustrated and that those experiences are not to be judged as a sign we are doing wrong thing, not to be pushed away.]
When I first discovered my life's purpose many years ago, I thought everything difficult and painful (in that part of my life) had been resolved. From that moment of revelation onwards, life would be nothing but smooth and easy. I was so shocked to discover that on other side of discovering one's bliss lie all of these challenges and stumbling blocks! I wonder if it's like this in marriage, too ..... we (who are single) look so long to find that one, true special someone and then everything is supposedly going to taste like sweet marmalade from then on ....... but I have a hunch that it is when we meet our 'true' match that learning process really begins ... any blocks we ever had inside to love would come right up and meet us like blow of a 2x4! ...."
Thank you Kirsten!
Does this all sound rather blatant to you? Is this a syndrome you've never succumbed to? Have you never said, "I'm scared/uncertain/don't know how, so maybe this means I shouldn't do it," (it could be: open shop, write book, speak to board, say no to job, say no to man).
One of most powerful ideas I've ever encountered is that learning isn't about information. Learning, to paraphrase consultant and author Fred Kofman, is capacity to accomplish results that you were not able to accomplish before. The capacity to close gap between your current reality and reality you would like to produce. The closure of that gap, through expansions of one's consciousness, through awareness and choice, through shifting how you see world, and through taking in new information and applying it in action, is learning. He compares it to riding a bike more than reading a book.
We in west are not comfortable with learning in this way. Our education system is all about finding answers. Our corporations and government mostly reward people who claim to know, even if that knowing is leading straight into jaws of disaster. It is better to appear to know than to appear "stupid." Why is not knowing a sign of stupidity? I maintain it is a sign of spiritual brilliance!
This comes into play so strongly in all areas of our lives but especially when it comes to our story about what should (there is that word again) happen when we are living our dream. It is as if we think we will have to cease being learners.
What a horrifying idea!
------------------------------------ Jennifer Louden is Comfort Queen, best-selling author of Comfort Book series, a certified coach, creator of learning events and retreats, and owner of Comfortqueen.com. She has appeared on numerous radio and TV programs, including Oprah. She's spoken to thousands of women in groups as diverse as Canadian wilderness and a German bank. She mentors creative women all over world. There are over 750,000 copies of her books in print world wide and in January, HarperSanFrancisco will update her first four books with new covers and updated resources. She's also a columnist for Body & Soul magazine and at work on her first novel. Copyright 2004. Jennifer Louden. All rights reserved.
You have permission to publish this article in your ezine or on your web site, free of charge, as long as byline is included and article is reprinted in its entirety.
You may not use this article in any publication that is not-optin (spam). All links in this article and byline must be live at all times. Disabling of any link invalidates and suspends permission for publication.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - http://www.comfortqueen.com PO Box 10065 / 9400 Northtown Loop Bainbridge Island, WA. 98110 Jennifer@comfortqueen.com
Jennifer Louden is the best-selling author of five books, including the classic, The Woman's Comfort Book. She is also the creator of http://www.comfortqueen.com, a frequent lecturer on creativity and self-care, and a creativity and writing mentor.
