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I often say that there is nothing in this world that can make me mad, angry or sad without my consent. It is my life.
Oh, I hear you saying that you have heard this kind of thing so often. Let me add
subtle twist I promised. And you listen carefully henceforth.
In every behavior there is a positive intention. And in every of your reaction/response to whatever situation confronts you there is something we will call 'secondary gains'.
I am going to be slow here, because I need us to be reading on
same page.
When somebody does something to you, they may be annoying to you. But, what is
positive intention of their behavior? What purpose is that behavior serving? From their point of view? You may find that they are trying to protect themselves or preserve a particular status quo. Or that they are trying to get something. Maybe your attention or some peace of mind. You might be irritating them.
When your respond to their behavior (in whatever way) you are thinking of how their behavior benefits you or how it does not benefit you. So, your behavior (which I maintain is not caused by them) might also be a way of protecting yourself from some 'perceived danger or intrusion'. And all time you are thinking of your own benefits in
unfolding drama.
What am I asking to make of all this.
Respond to all situations in a way that acknowledges
positive intention as well as your own secondary gains. If
two (situation's positive intention and your 'secondary gains') are in conflict, adopt an attitude of 'it's not so much what happens to me that matters. It is how I deal with
experience that matters'.
Don't let
snake make you do anything!

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