That observation was confirmed years later as a young mother working nights at a department store to make ends meet. And again as a new manager surprised to notice it was position level, not merit of idea, that swayed many brainstorming groups.

Too often we value ourselves and others by titles held, not contributions made. We mix up a person’s abilities, talents and worth with their occupation or position. We forget a job is something you do, not who you are. Hearing a senior management friend tell stories about a star performer, I queried further expecting a rising star from executive training program only to hear star was someone working in stockroom. No filters blocked her vision of talent.

If you want to be winning at working, manage your expectations and biases about positions and titles. That includes your own. It’s not job you’re in; it’s job you do while you’re in it. That’s true of everyone at every level. Often we get what we expect. Expect ideas and contributions from everyone and you’ll get them. Engage person, not position.

(c) 2004 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.

Sign up to receive Nan’s free eColumn, Winning at Working, at http://www.winningatworking.com. Nan Russell has spent over twenty years in management, most recently with QVC as a Vice President. Currently working on her first book, Nan is a writer, columnist, small business owner, and instructor

Yes, it is contradictory! How can you sort it out? First and foremost, recognize that people are different from you and from each other.

Be mindful of Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Be even more mindful of Platinum Rule, “Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.”

Pay attention to how others respond to you and, when possible, when you can do so without violating your own principles, treat them as they expect and wish to be treated.

*Violence: Reflections on a National Epidemic .by James Gilligan, MD

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Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. Email: media@laurieweiss.com

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., author of Dare To Say It!, is an internationally known executive coach, psychotherapist, and author. For more simple secrets for turning difficult conversations into amazing opportunities for cooperation and success, visit http://www.DareToSayIt.com or email: feedback@laurieweiss.com