Still missing from my list was anything resembling a "great" sermon. Then it hit me.

One sermon got away. How sermons get away from a person varies with each minister. With computers these days, it is not difficult to lose a great sermon. But sermon I'm thinking of was B.C. (before computers).

It's hard to believe there was a time before computers. Everything had to be written by hand and stored in some filing system. My filing system, before my computer, left much to be desired.

My system did not so much leave much to be desired as to be nonexistent.

I remember this sermon now. It was a special Sunday in our church and worship program was filled with guests, including a group of singers who were to perform at our service.

I worked for weeks on this sermon and had it worked out pretty good. Everything that belonged to a great sermon was in this sermon. I reworked it until it was as close to perfect as I could possibly make it.

The Sunday arrived and I anxiously anticipated delivering my great sermon. Everything seemed to go right that Sunday. Even weather cooperated by delivering a splendid day.

Looking back, however, I overlooked one thing. Concentrating so much time in preparing my sermon, I forgot others were participating in service.

My sermon, as is usually case, was last thing on program. The service started on time and everything progressed very nicely.

Then musical group got up to sing. They were simply marvelous and harmony was heavenly. In fact, they were so good they received a standing ovation.

As custom is, they responded appropriately by singing another song. Again, they received a standing ovation, which in turn resulted in another song ... and another song ... and another song.

By this time, I was nervous. Time to preach my great sermon started 20 minutes ago and there was no indication musical group sensed time.

When last strain of music faded and I stepped to pulpit, it was time to give benediction. With as much graciousness as I could command, I pronounced benediction and dismissed people.

To this day, nobody knows (except you) that my great sermon got away.

"And how shall they preach, except they be sent? As it is written, How beautiful are feet of them that preach gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!" (Romans 10:15 KJV.)

14. SILLY-SYSTEMS THINKING DAY (Time to write easy-to-understand instructions so any baby-boomer you know can program his/her brand-new DVD player or assemble a piece of ready-to-assemble furniture without losing one's hair or sanity)

15. IDES OF MARCH (Time to don your toga or toad outfit and spit tacks, peas or sunflower seeds at anyone you please ...if that doesn’t work, get on your cell phone and do your rendition of, “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ear…”)

16. COWABUNGA DAY (Okay, now that you've strapped on your leather chaps and sharp spurs, you can tell our favorite cow pie story!)

17. LITTLE LEPRECHAUN DAY (Time to put on your hunter green tights, color your hair lime green, and spread lots of blarney in honor of a dandy dude named “St. Patrick” or was it "Dermot Love Spot"?)

18. FLYING SAUCER APPRECIATION DAY (The only day when everyone can be an expert about strange goings on in universe, crop circles, or basement next door)

19. DWEEB APPRECIATION DAY (in recognition of all wonky wunderkinds you know who haven’t got a clue how to install computer software or paint by numbers)

20. RED DWARF & GREEN KNIGHT APPRECIATION DAY (In honor of first day of spring, and odd things going on in Forest among weird keepers of Holy Grail)

21. GIVE ME A BREAK DAY (A truly exceptional occasion to cash in on your “Get Out of Jail” free card, or a “Dog House Day Pass” from your modest outdoor accommodation of late)

22. CALL IN WELL DAY (Take advantage of your frightfully fabulous mental health these days and just goof-off for an afternoon at beach, on golf course, or sitting in your throne room reading your favorite comic books and munching on junk food)

23. OF COURSE I’M RIGHT DAY (Finally, it’s your turn to be King Canute or Queen Bee of Castle, as long as you remember, there’s a price to pay for everything! Like, tomorrow does not have your name written all over it!!)

24. DINGBAT FELLOWSHIP DAY (A time to honor all off-the-wall folk you know and love …just like that long-lost Davy Crockett hat, polka dot hat and pink shoe laces, or that plastic hoola hoop you’ve got hidden in closet)

25. SOPPY SONG AWARD DAY (Time to honor maudlin melodies, long-winded lyrics, soppy songs that should never have been written)

26. ARIES AWARENESS DAY (In honor of all those Mars-ruled brash, bossy beasts or barn-burning types you know -- not to be confused with other ‘ram-a-dam-a-ding-dong’ folk among your quaint circle of acquaintances)

27. WHITE RABBIT DAY (Okay if you see a floppy-eared, good-natured furry critter hopping down bunny trail, it must be Easter. So drop your big stick, give it a carrot and whatever you do think good thoughts and make a big wish – it’s your lucky day!)

28. LONG NECK AND NOSE APPRECIATION DAY (This is a rather fine way to honor giraffes, geese, or other Pinocchio-like members of your menagerie afflicted with a curiosity gene disorder)

29. TACKY TROPHY DAY (A terrific time to craft your own tacky trophy or titillating talking stick designed to honor anyone who tells best jokes or funny anecdotes in town)

30. BEDSIDE & BIFFY BOOKWORM DAY (An excellent occasion to compare with family, friends and colleagues, just what bodacious boudoir or breathtaking biffy books they’re reading these days)

31. BOFFOLA RECOGNITION DAY (Time to use those gag lines that have been clogging up your email inbox – but only if they they’re guaranteed to produce a hearty laugh or make a big hit your cube farm or barnyard of life)