Women ask questions such as:

* who asks who out * who calls who * who pays * who makes decisions about where to go, etc. * What are expectations at end of date * how soon should we become intimate

Women comment on:

* his lack of initiative in calling or asking her out * his expectation that they will go dutch * how he never offers to pick her up * his overall lack of assertiveness * his saying he will call, but not following through * his too polished style which lacks a certain spark of masculinity * his taking longer to get ready than she does * his crudeness or over aggressive style * his expectation that they will have sex

Men ask questions such as:

* what do women want * why should a guy have to ask a girl out * why should guy always pay * why do women say they want sensitivity, etc., but see guys like that as wimps * why do women give out such mixed signals in general * why do women seem to reject nice guys and go for jerks * why can't a woman be aggressor

Men comment on:

* women acting spoiled * women wanting their independence, etc. but not wanting equal responsibility and weight * women expecting a lot from men, but offering little in return * women not knowing what they want * women playing games * women's attraction to "bad boys"

Both women and men verbalize that they are ok with current roles that have evolved for them in our society, yet I hear both talk wistfully about how it was in previous generations. Back then; everyone KNEW what was expected from him or her. Life was predictable. Dating was much simpler and "safer". Men were men and women were raised to be wives and homemakers. We have gained something and we have lost something. One thing for sure, we can never have it both ways.

What's answer? It is never simple. However, it does involve better communication in general between men and women. Singles need to clarify for themselves (first), what kind of partner they seek and what their expectations from a relationship really are. Once a person is clear about what they must have and what they can't live with, they need to go out and HONESTLY seek that. Knowing what you want is good. If you turn off someone by your frankness, he/she was not someone for you.

So, begin with a self-assessment. Then go out and pursue interests and environments, which maximize your chances of meeting compatible singles. And remember, there is no perfect person. He may be overly fussy with his hair, take longer in bathroom than most women, be less ambitious in his work life than you are and put your cooking to shame. However, if he's sensitive to YOUR needs, easy to talk to and fun to be with, great with kids and very supportive of your goals, he may be guy of your dreams.

Toni Coleman is a and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia. She works with singles who want to create lasting, healthy relationships. Toni has over 20 years of post-masters experience in relationship counseling and coaching with singles and couples. She has also written numerous email classes for singles on all aspects of meeting, dating and relating. She is the author of the email newsletter, The Art of Intimacy, which goes out to thousands of subscribers monthly.

Themes making reference to organizational proficiency.... so she did put your socks in wrong drawer, at least she did put them in matching pairs. This includes no messy desks, crammed closets, or cluttered purses.

Themes making reference to any personal appearance crisis...so her hair did have that glow-in-the-dark effect. You're one who said she'd look great as a blonde. This includes no pictures of women with fuzzy perms, hair curlers, or green hair.

Guys will be amazed at how much easier greeting card selection process is after eliminating above categories.

4. Do consider a humorous card, if appropriate for occasion, but only if woman has a good sense of humor. Not sure? Then leave it in card rack...better safe than sorry.

5. Humorous cards with animals are often a good bet especially if woman has a beloved pet. Use your head here guys, if you despise her dog, don't buy a card featuring animal control dude with a net.

6. Use sexy cards sparingly and only if you have a close, intimate relationship with woman. Never give a greeting card with sexual connotations to a woman with whom that is uncharted territory or to a woman with whom you have no intentions of entering that territory. It doesn't do much for image of male gender.

7. If you find more than one card that is appropriate buy more than one. Store others for next year. You can even go out on a limb here and give her more than one card. She'll love that you have so much to say.

8. Never just sign a card and give it to a woman. Remember that like me, most women cherish cards and keep them to reread, especially when a thoughtful personalized message is added by giver.

Now get out there you beasts of jungle and show women that you can rule those greeting card racks like kings that you are with same finesse that they wave a wand of mascara.

If my guidelines are too tedious or you're truly too busy to shop for cards consider using Hallmark.com to personalize and send your cards for you. They offer a very affordable and convenient service if you don't mind having card sent separately from any present you may give. You can find out more about their card sending service at: http://www.Hallmark.com

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