It’s similar to “free associating,” because speaker can count on not being corrected, judged, interrupted, or even really commented upon. This is amazingly freeing, healing, and amazingly hard to come by. It allows speaker to get to heart of matter, and his or her feelings, and learn all sorts of things.

MANAGE TIME

Time is a crucial element to loving communication. We are under so much time pressure these days, our serious conversations can be squeezed in between changing diapers, taking out garbage, and getting dinner dishes done. We often feel rushed to hurry up and say what we have to say, and we listen same way, unconsciously sending out vibes that we hope our partner will just hurry up and get it said because we have to catch our favorite television show, or get to sleep because we have a big meeting in morning.

The other person can sense when we’re listening this way, and it defeats purpose of Talk Story.

A good way to do this is lying side-by-side, on bed, a hammock, a blanket under stars, a sailboat! It is “just” talking and one of most healing things a person can do. The other person just listens, without making comments or judgments.

LEARN TO LOVE THE SILENCES

Between two people who are intimate, silence can be a very special place. They are often prelude to very important sharing.

For one thing, it is rarely tolerated in casual conversation, so it is special just in itself. Being able to sit with silence of your partner will allow them to look more deeply within, and bring up what it is they need to talk about. Don’t rush them by feeling need to “fill air time.” Allowing empty space is a great gift you can give one another. Give them permission to take their time, and to fill silence when and if they’re ready.

Good communication between two partners involves talking and listening. A lot more has been written on art of talking. Remember that listening, and silences, are equally important.

4. Be assertive on what's fueling you, as diligent about all things in your realm, as quality of food you digest, and purity of water you drink.

To create a garden of positive habits, surround yourself with flowers not figurative speaking either. Complete a regular inventory. See each item for its truth, intention, and influence. Don't wave it off as "not that big of a deal."

Remove negative people, negative television shows, movies, books, even conversations. If Mama, spouse, sister, or brother fits this description, explain its impact on your life. Don't blame, explain. Explain how it affects your success, your dreams. I'm sure they do what they do out of habit and not purposeful. If presented honestly and lovingly people involved will see gift.

An ideal choice is to use a positive clean-burning fuel. This begins with new words (language) to self and others. Each of us make choices every second. Get up, sit down, speak, listen, and so on. Make new choices, ones that fuel positive habits.

Take inventory on your environment and what you tolerate. What is broken, dented, stained? Fix, toss, give away, replace. Eliminate each ball and chain, one at a time, in baby steps. You will walk taller, talk and think clearer. You will attract more results that are positive into your life. Positive attracts positive--the Law of Attraction.

Fuel your surroundings with meaningful and beautiful things. That doesn't mean expensive. It can simply be a fresh rose on your desk every week and stopping by florist or your own garden.

Many habits tend to hide under bed until dusted. Expect as you replace one, another can appear. Yes, they eventually become fewer. Stay focused and remember, "A rose isn't a rose without all its beautiful petals."

Be aggressive. When they appear, and they will, knock them down, toss them out with trash. And quickly. Don't give them room to smell or grow. You'll soon discover each day will be lighter, brighter, and even more successful than one before. I promise!

These four techniques, continually proven by hundreds of my workshop graduates, will work for you too. They will multiply your dreams and successes over night. Begin small, begin big, just begin, and keep momentum going...until.

(c) Copyright 2004, Catherine Franz. All rights reserved.

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