The disc drive was nothing to write home about, so I got a “fan belt” (alligator alimentary canal) and coupled it up to a perfectly squared shoulder blade. I still insist that this is way to go! Listen up Mucrosift!!!!

There was no need for a printer, because we couldn’t write anyway. However, I did need a keyboard and quickly dispatched my fathers’ keys to pond and used his board!

Cables were easy enough to make and my grandmother (bless her) was an excellent knitter. “When you want to knit a high speed cable, do so, one bit at a time”, she used to tell me (not that I ever listened). I always get that one mixed up with butcher down road. What is it he used to say again?.....”When you want a nice bit of high-speed meat, get them, one bat at a time”.

Electricity, keyboard, processor, hard drive, cables........what else was there?.......oh yeah......I needed a comfortable seat and ordered this over internet. I had to! The 7/11 was closed!

That just about concludes two thousand years of thicknology, as I remember it.

Mick. thicknology@thetrivialtimes.com

Yes, our local clinic was never understaffed or under-resourced, such was availability of bamboo.

Should a hungry dinosaur “happen” on your leg, arm, or anything except your head (this would have been considered to be a “threat”), a simple poultice made of Zinc (readily available at 7/11), Selenium (unavailable, but anything starting with “S” was sufficient, and only your imagination could deprive you), and milk (from milkman), would redirect pain. Guaranteed!!!!

You had to be tough to survive medicine, and that was just practicing it. To survive it as a patient required a sharp memory. If you “forgot” your previous visit, then ...........well then......longevity was not for you!

There was nothing trivial, repetitive or indeed actual, about Hippocratic oath. “Accept your fate, and relinquish your dinosaur eggs” as I remember it, was motto of Medicine.

Mick, medicinalmalice@thetrivialtimes.com