The Guy Who Wished He Was a Fly

Written by greggb


Continued from page 1

The other fly said, “That’s because he is speaking English, and flies can’t understand English.”

And thenrepparttar guy who was dreaming he was a fly said, “You mean flies can not understand what people say?”

Andrepparttar 149824 other fly said, “No, flies can only speak Flynese. Flies cannot speak any other language but Flynese.

Thenrepparttar 149825 guy who was dreaming he was a fly said, “This really sucks! I do not like being a fly! I don’t want to be a fly no more and I’m getting out of here,” accept when he went to buzz off, he couldn’t move.

“Argh!”repparttar 149826 guy who was dreaming he was a fly said. “I can not move, it feels like my feet are glued to this long, spiraled thing. “Can you give me a hand, my feet are stuck”, he said torepparttar 149827 other fly also sitting onrepparttar 149828 long, spiraled thing.

“I can not move neither, my feet are also stuck”, saidrepparttar 149829 other fly.

The guy who was dreaming he was a fly looked around and saw a bunch of other flies onrepparttar 149830 long spiraled thing and said “Can one you gentlemen give me a hand, my feet is stuck?” Accept none of them could help him, cause all there feet was stuck too. He looked around at allrepparttar 149831 other flies and said to his self, “I do not want to be a fly no more. I wish I had never wished that I was a fly, I want to be a person again”.

Then he started thinking about fly things again, but he also thought a lot about allrepparttar 149832 wishing he had done that he was a fly. For a long time he thought to his self, “I wish I never wished I was a fly, because now I’m a fly and I don’t want to be a fly, I am going to die because my feet are stuck to this thing and I can’t get off it”, and he started crying, accept tears didn’t come out sense flies don’t have tears.

Then finally he woke up, and it took him a minute to realize that he was a person, not a fly. And he was so glad that he was a person and not a fly that he woke his wife up and made her say something to him so he could understand it in people language. Accept when his wife said something he could not understand it, and he was really scared and he screamed out “I’m still a fly!” accept he screamed this in Flynese, so his wife could not understand it sense it came out sounding like a bunch of buzzes in Morse code. Not real Morse code, it just sounded like Morse code. It sounded like “BUUUUZZZ! BUZZ! BUZZZZZ! BBBBUUUUZZZ! BUZZ!”, accept it sounded like his voice. It sounded like his voice screaming a bunch of buzzes.

It turned out that this guy had a weird condishun, I can not rememberrepparttar 149833 name of it but it’s a disorder where people think they is insects. One time I watched a movie on t.v., it was about a lady who thought she was a dog and all she did was bark and she liked to have her belly rubbed a bunch and be petted. But I did not know people could think they was insects, it turns out that they can. There have only been 4 cases of this disorder that I know of, this guy was one ofrepparttar 149834 cases. 2 ofrepparttar 149835 other cases was guys who thought they was flies. I think they probably thought they was flies because they wanted to be flies so bad so they could spy on other people, like this guy. That is why you must be careful what you wish for, because if you wish you are an insect too much you might get a disorder where you think you are in insect.

Oh,repparttar 149836 other case was a guy who thought he was a flee. I don’t think he thought he was a flee because he wished he was a flee, because there is no advantages to being a flee. I don’t know why he thought he was a flee, but I heard that his wife divorced him and that he had to have knee surgery on both knees because allrepparttar 149837 jumping he did while he thought he was a flee wore his knees out.

The guy who dreamed he was a fly came back to thinking he was a person, it took a sicatrist and a bunch of medicine, and I think that they might of shocked him a bit, but finally he came back to thinking he was a person, which is good because he is a person.

Now he tells everyone to be careful about what they wish for, and he tells themrepparttar 149838 story about him thinking he was a fly.

I know one thing for sure, that I’ll be careful what I wish for. I’ll be really careful to make sure I don’t wish I’m a fly too much, because it would be cool to be a fly and buzz around into peoples houses, but I would not want to be a fly sense flies can’t speak English. Also it would be bad to be a fly because flies like to eat poop, and they don’t know no better than to fly to a different window when they try to get through a window that is shut.

A recovering moron. If you enjoyed this story, feel free to drop me a line at gboethin@yahoo.com.


A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes

Written by Richard A. Chapo


Continued from page 1

Q: What’srepparttar difference between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know they’re boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don’t worry. You’ll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, whenrepparttar 149654 man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.

2. Asrepparttar 149655 lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are allrepparttar 149656 blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire acrossrepparttar 149657 street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."

3. God decided to takerepparttar 149658 devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"

4. A lawyer is sitting atrepparttar 149659 desk in his new office. He hears someone coming torepparttar 149660 door. To impress his first potential client, he picks uprepparttar 149661 phone asrepparttar 149662 door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up,repparttar 149663 man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone."

And finally:

You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes.

Richard Chapo is with SanDiegoBusinessLawFirm.com - Go to our article section to read more business law articles.


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