The Guide to Changing Your Name after MarriageWritten by Rachel Greenberg
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5. Passport You will need to mail in a certified copy of your marriage license along with an application to appropriate passport center. You can obtain copies of this application from your local post office. If you are not renewing passport (name change only), there should be no charge. You will get same passport back, with a stamp in back with your new name. If you are also renewing passport, then there will be a fee, but you will get a new passport with your new name on it.
6. Local government offices In addition to notifying state and federal governments (which you have done in steps #2 and #3), you should call your local town or county office to notify them of your name change. Since their systems do not always get data from regional and national systems, it is best to make sure you have everything covered.
7. Employer Be sure to tell your employer of your name change, since it is important that your benefits and taxes are reported properly. Some employers will change name with no documentation, but others will need to see certified copy of marriage license.
8. Business documents If you own your own business (like I do), then you need to make sure that all business documents and correspondence gets updated with your new name. This includes business bank accounts, credit cards, letterheads, email addresses, etc.
9. Bills and other statements With most utilities, like cable, electricity, phone, etc., you can either change your name online with no documentation required, or make a quick phone call to customer service department.
If you feel like this list is a bit overwhelming, then just make sure you get through first three steps. They require most time investment, so get them out of way first. After that, just pace yourself, and you’ll get rest done with ease.
Rachel Greenberg has a background in business and finance, and she received her MBA from Duke University in 1999. She writes fun and informative pieces for her website http://www.bargainfamily.com, which she created with her husband Lee. The website provides advice and recommendations for families on various products and services for their homes, lives, and businesses.
Do You Want To Know How Monogamy Came To Be?Written by Joseph T Farkasdi
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There are four types of marital arrangements (only one that is civilly legal in America): polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, and polyamory. Polyandry is a marriage arrangement between a wife and two or more husbands. Polygamy is a marriage arrangement between a husband and two or more wives. Monogamy is a marriage arrangement between one husband and one wife. Polyamory is a marriage arrangement between two or more husbands and/or two or more wives. The Torah makes no distinction on which type of legal marriage arrangement is more preferable than others. Instead, it only encourages that through marriage struggles of relationship be dealt with, and that expression of love be realized. Just as it is realized through marital struggles between G-d and People of Yisrael. "Now you are to love YHWH your G-d with all your heart, with all your being, with all your substance!" (D’varim 6.5). We do this by faithfully fulfilling obligations of this community marriage relationship with G-d. So it must be in our human marriage relationships Torah teaches us.
Monogamy is not threatened by society allowing citizens legal right to choose other types of marriage arrangements, and to be held accountable for these marriages. For those who idealize monogamy as way to go, simple bottom-line fact-of-reality is that there is only one threat to success and survival of monogamous relationships. This real threat comes from within homes of couples that choose a monogamous marriage arrangement, and this threat is not keeping vows made when getting married and not working together to mutually meet each other's needs. The threat of infidelity is not basing marriage on clearly defined obligations to begin with. Banning legal right to form other types of marriage arrangements will not change this. And, it will not prevent people from forming polygamous, polyandrous, and polyamorous relationships - regardless whether they are legally sanctioned by society or not.
The issue in Hebrew Bible is about getting married, not about what marriage form is "right." Its focus is on fulfilling obligations that come with marriage, whether there is love between married partners or not. When maintained in this manner, relationship is in kedusha, a state of holiness. And, this benefits community, by providing a strong family-oriented foundation to build from. How can a marriage relationship – whether it be polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, or polyamory – be less of a struggle and more of a love relationship? The first step is to keep marital obligations made between each other when committing act of marriage. Verbally remember and edify words of this marital agreement often - if possible, on a weekly basis. Sit down together and talk it over.
The next step, which is actually very first step and must always remain more important step throughout marriage is understanding that love is not an object, and thus degree of love one has for another cannot be controlled. But, we do have power within us to control how we will relate to to each other in our relationships. And, we have power to decide whether we will be fidelitous or not. In other words, by defining together obligations of marriage, by living by them throughout marriage (being conscious of these obligations on a daily basis) and, through this marriage relationship, by elevating emotional, sexual, and spiritual needs of our partners-in-marriage. Complete honesty between each other, recognition of need for individual self-responsibility, and partner encouragement (not coercion) is a must. Fulfill this and this marriage, whatever its type, is a marriage maintained in kedusha/holiness, according to teachings of Hebrew Bible.
Footnote: Just for historical authenticity to statements made in these * asterisked paragraphs above, Damascus Document of Intertestimal period is a product of a specific extremist community sect of Judaism, and is not reflective of Jewish lifestyle in that time period as a whole. In fact majority of Jewish communities would continue to engage in polygamist marriage relationships well into Common Era, and even within Ashkenazic communities this was so. Monogamy was accepted and justified as ideal by modern Jews only because of Christian presence around these Jewish communities, meaning Jews conformed to practices of their neighbors to avoid persecution over this issue. It is through extremist Jewish document of Yachad sect that defines monogamous marriages and monogamous approach to marriages within Greco-Roman world of time that Christianity would come to idealize monogamy as ideal marriage relationship style. Even Irish, who were first culture to embrace Christianity outside of Greco-Roman world, continued to engage in rather promiscious relationship styles - styles that included group sexual relationships and marriages. It would not be until arrival of "White" people into Europe and their subsequent embracement of Christianity that monogamy would be institutionalized as only correct form of marriage. Some estimates have it that monogamy finally took root about a good thousand years after Damascus Document had been written. And, still today, not all societies are convinced that it really is most moral form of forming relationships.
Joseph Farkasdi is a fictional writer and social commentator. His online expressions range from the sharing of deeply opinionated thoughts on life, love, and relationships to the ever stirring wild and sometimes wet erotic fantasies that stretch one's secret imaginations. His photographic works are as revealing and shameless as his willingness to share all without inhibition. You can view his web site by clicking on http://www.jfarkasdi.org/ .