COMMUNITES OF TV's

There can be a room full of people, but if a TV is playing, everyone will be plugged into set, mesmerized by flickering lights. Watch it. Watch a party be ground to a halt by a TV.

That is what is happening on a larger scale with our communities. There are communities full of people, all ignoring each other as they are plugged into their TV. Drive around almost any community at night. Are people gathered in groups gossiping and having fun with one another? More likely, you will pass by a plethora of isolated houses with eerie lights flickering through windows. From a distance those lights are downright creepy.

PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED AND RELATIONSHIPS BUILT

Get a taste of "good old days" by turning off TV. It is not that problems vanish when you turn OFF TV. Problems do not vanish any more than they do when TV is ON. My idyllic scene was disrupted shortly after I descibed it by kids' bickering. However, they resolved their differences and started playing in sandbox.

That is key. They were still interacting and could resolve their problems. Turning off TV frees them to solve their problems and to grow in their relationships.

I have studied history extensively. I know full well that past is full of pain and suffering as well as joy. People have also made great strides in many social issues over past several decades. Yet, we lost something critical to our existance when we plugged in TV and left it on for over four hours a day. We lost time that used to go to building relationships, to loving, to living, and to connecting with each other.

BACK TO THE FUTURE

Go back to "good old days" by turning off your TV. Turn it off and play outdoors with your family. Go for a walk. Invite neighbors over for a barbeque. Host a family game night. Read with your children. All these activities are relaxing and build essential relationships. They are also things people used to do in "good old days". Going back is as simple as pushing a button--the OFF button.

Although need for attachment continues for many years, process of separation also begins during first year of a child's life. A major milestone is reached when children learn to separate from parents by crawling and then by walking. Psychological separation begins as well: babies start, non-verbally, to express their own desires and opinions. Many child development experts view early childhood as a series of alternating attachment and separation phases that help to establish child as an independent person who can relate happily to others.

Toddlers continue attachment--separation cycle in more sophisticated ways during second year. The "terrible twos" arrive with your child sometimes protesting violently when you must leave them. Anxiety about separating from you heightens, and they may express anger. During this stage, when you must both guide and protect your child,, you become a "no" sayer. Your child becomes frustrated and shows it in new ways. Helpless crying comes first, and later your child may exhibit aggressive behavior by hitting, pushing, biting or throwing things.

Such behavior often frightens and puzzles parents, who wonder if child is normal. It should help you to know that this type of behavior is normal for toddlers, who have deep conflicting wishes about their individuality ("me do it myself"), and their anxiety about separating from you.

Handling tantrums, setting limits, and encouraging language development and expression of feelings consume much of your time and patience. They will grow out of these stages. Welcome to parenthood and best wishes on raising a healthy, happy, well-adjusted baby!

Larry Denton is a retired history teacher having taught 33 years at Hobson High in Hobson, Montana. He is currently Vice President of Elfin Enterprises, Inc., an Internet business dedicated to providing useful information and valuable resources on a variety of timely topics. For a nursery full of information, resources and suggestions about child development, visit http://www.BabyByWay.com