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3. Set up a ground rule that nobody gets to be wrong. Don't judge other person. Just accept for now.
4. By same token, don't try to fix things, or solve problems, unless you're asked to. Often all someone needs is a place to talk things out so they can discover their own solutions. Give other person respect of believing that they are resourceful and able to resolve things on their own.
5. Don't interrupt. Wait until other person is finished talking before you jump in. Let there be natural gaps in conversation. You don't need to fill every second with talk.
6. Maintain eye contact, but don't stare.
7. Be encouraging. Let other person know you're really listening. Repeat key words, say "uh-huh", nod in agreement.
8. Acknowledge other person's feelings and point of view. Try phrases such as "What I’m hearing is . . ." or "I’m getting that . . ." This also helps to eliminate misunderstandings. 9. Finally, pay attention to body language and energy. Sit with an open, receptive posture. Angle your body slightly towards other person, or lean in a bit. Do not cross your arms across your chest defensively. In addition, notice how other person is sitting. Be aware of cadence of their words and energy behind them.
Following those nine guidelines will drastically improve your listening skills. Which will drastically improve communication. Which will drastically improve your relationships. And that's a Valentine's gift that will keep on giving - both to other person and to you.
NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including "about author" info). If use of this article is desired in print, you must first contact Lynn Cutts at Lynn@ManageYourMuse.com.
Copyright 2005 Lynn Cutts
Chocolate-loving Life Coach Lynn Cutts’ mission is to change the world for the better, one person at a time. At www.ManageYourMuse.com, she shares free tips, articles, games and newsletters to help you realize your dreams. Lynn offers one-on-one coaching, group coaching and self-guided programs to help you create your own boundless life. Lynn is certified by the Coaches Training Institute, and is a member of the International Coaches Federation.