3. Set up a ground rule that nobody gets to be wrong. Don't judge other person. Just accept for now.

4. By same token, don't try to fix things, or solve problems, unless you're asked to. Often all someone needs is a place to talk things out so they can discover their own solutions. Give other person respect of believing that they are resourceful and able to resolve things on their own.

5. Don't interrupt. Wait until other person is finished talking before you jump in. Let there be natural gaps in conversation. You don't need to fill every second with talk.

6. Maintain eye contact, but don't stare.

7. Be encouraging. Let other person know you're really listening. Repeat key words, say "uh-huh", nod in agreement.

8. Acknowledge other person's feelings and point of view. Try phrases such as "What I’m hearing is . . ." or "I’m getting that . . ." This also helps to eliminate misunderstandings. 9. Finally, pay attention to body language and energy. Sit with an open, receptive posture. Angle your body slightly towards other person, or lean in a bit. Do not cross your arms across your chest defensively. In addition, notice how other person is sitting. Be aware of cadence of their words and energy behind them.

Following those nine guidelines will drastically improve your listening skills. Which will drastically improve communication. Which will drastically improve your relationships. And that's a Valentine's gift that will keep on giving - both to other person and to you.

NOTE: You are welcome to use this article online in electronic newsletters and e-zines as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including "about author" info). If use of this article is desired in print, you must first contact Lynn Cutts at Lynn@ManageYourMuse.com.

Copyright 2005 Lynn Cutts

Trying really means a state between no I don’t want to do it and full commitment. You and I both know that if you fully commit to something then 99 times out of 100 you succeed. The time you don’t succeed is when you don’t want to . But rather than face aggravation from others you say I’ll try. Which basically means I will not give it my all. I will do what I think is necessary in order for others to think that I have given it a good shot. I will try.

Do you remember when you were child and your grandmother said you were very trying. In other words you were a pain in butt. You were a nuisance.

Well it’s same. When you decide that you will try to do something you are really a nuisance to yourself and others because chance of success is negligible. You, at best, are going to waste a great deal of time and energy doing something you don’t really believe in and is destined for failure. Or possibly marginal success.

Whenever you enter a new challenge with thought of trying in your mind you are really doing yourself no favours. You are really showing world that you are a non achiever.

If deep down, in those hidden dreams you carry, you want to be an achiever then do whatever is necessary in order to succeed. When you carry out a task say to yourself, “No one can do this without me”, and we promise you will succeed.

It’s not a case of we are trying to achieve something here but We are achieving our goals here.

Good Luck

Graham and Julie www.desktop-meditation.com

To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to: www.desktop-meditation.com