"Okay," you say, "then just give me a really nice person that I can happily spend rest of my life with. You are right, I'm not all that strong and I'm not really able to be alone for any length of time. So, just give me a very nice person that's not quite a soulmate." Relationships created in desperation, need, and greed very rarely work out. What you've just told world is that you're desperate and anyone will do. And that's what you'll get, anyone - not one. You must be romantically unattached when you begin your search for love. It's karma, it's trust, it's morals, it's only fair.

And what of your overall worthiness - are you worthy? This is not a beat yourself up question. Imagine that special person is alive and real flesh and blood person out in world searching this very moment for 'happily ever after' just like you are. Are you kind of person that you would spend time searching for? If person meant for you was indeed your perfect match, what would they look like? How would they behave? How would they feel and respond? Look into mirror my friend - are you what you are looking for? Until person you see in mirror is worthy of your love and attention, then you will not recognize your twin soul. For they share your essence. Become type of person that you would want to find and in so doing so you will become kind of person that your rightful partner wishes to find. Now you will be able to recognize each other and accept each other. Trust me, there is nothing worse than finding your soulmate when you are both screwed up and dysfunctional - intense and ugly, rather than intense and beautiful.

If you want to call a magical cosmic kind of love into your life, then you must look at what your life is now. Is it inviting and warm? Would it nurture or challenge true love's growth? Are you ready, really ready? Is space in your heart, in your life, in your bed where only one's most treasured beloved belongs cleared out and available for them to lay their weary head once they do find you? My father used to tell me that he had pockets sewn all over his heart and each of us had a special pocket in which nobody else could fill. Is 'happily ever after' pocket of your heart big enough and ready? Is there space for real love in your life? Are you free to fall?

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

John, I accept you as my husband. I Tracy, embrace you, Susan, as my partner for life.

6.It’s time to go back to papers you wrote in Steps 1 and 2. If you’re working together, you’ll have fun sharing those pages, and seeing where you overlap . . . Use colored pencils or highliters to lift up what you have in common – and make those promises and statements of love just leap off page.

7.Now, whether you’re working alone or as a couple, it’s time to prioritize. Which is fancy language for saying, OK, if I have to cut two of these promises off list, which ones will they be? Nibble at your lists, removing things that are just a little less juicy, until you’re left with three or four things you love . . . and about same number of things you promise.

8.Copy these over onto a brand new, clean page. (It’s amazing what a difference a clean sheet of paper can make – trust me on this!)

9.One more question . . . this is a wedding, a celebration of your union, presumably for life. Will your vows indicate a time frame? Some couples use phrase like: “Through all our years, and in all that life may bring us . . . “ “For rest of my days” “As long as we both shall live” “lifetime partner.” “partner forevermore.” Whatever works for you, a wedding or service of union vow should contain a phrase that indicates duration of your commitment. ( If you’ve come this far, I hope you’ve decided to promise your commitment for life.)

10.Read your vow out loud to a trusted someone other than your partner. Does it sound like you? How does it feel to say these words aloud? Have you said anything you’d be embarrassed to say in public? Are there any tongue-tanglers in there? (It’s amazing how seemingly simple phrases turn complex when it’s time to speak!) Make whatever minor changes you need, and then Stop. Feel good about what you’ve done – for you have created one of greatest gifts you will ever make.

Blessings on you and on your union ~ Rev. Dr. M. Maureen Killoran, MA, DMin Life Coach & Spiritual Guide