THE GIFT OF SERVICE

We are on this planet to learn to love ourselves and each other, and to help each other. One of best gifts we can give our family is to role model this by doing service. Helping others fills heart and soul in ways that nothing else can. If children do not see their parents doing service and helping others, they may never learn great joy and fulfillment that comes from giving. One of best gifts we can give to our family is to provide ways of doing service.

THE GIFT OF CREATIVITY

All of us are born with various ways of expressing our creativity. Expressing creativity is a profound way of connecting with Spirit, since expressed creativity is a direct expression of Spirit. Providing your family with many ways of expressing their creativity is a great gift. Creativity can be expressed in so many ways – cooking, crafts, building things, music, art, movement, telling stories, writing, humor, photography and video – possibilities are endless! Creative family projects are especially wonderful in creating family closeness.

THE GIFT OF LIGHTNESS OF BEING

Lightness of being – fun, joy, laughter, playfulness – is a great gift to give to others. Lightness of being is infectious – our laughter and playfulness can help others take life less seriously and “lighten up.”

Lightness of being is one results of all other gifts – of caring, courage, service and creativity. When we give these gifts, we feel a wonderful lightness within, lightness that is result of fully giving from heart. Our own lightness of being can bring lightness into our whole family. Children love it when their parents are playful, funloving and joyful. Laughing together as a family is one of most precious experiences in life.

We need to focus of giving these gifts each day, not just during a holiday season or special occasions. These gifts are far more important than any material thing we can buy for someone. In fact, we might not be so focused on material gifts if we frequently give gift of love – of caring, compassion, courage, service, creativity, and lightness of being.

Um--no.

My idea of multi-tasking is breathing, talking, and hiking in woods--all at same time. My family eats a relaxing dinner together at home--by candlelight!--at least five nights a week. It's best part of day.

Don't get me wrong. Sports are great for kids. So is drama. And music. And debate.

But dinner matters, too. I figure that my kids aren't going to be living with us forever, and while they're here, it's a lot more important to have dinner together than it is to have girls sign up for every sport and activity on earth.

What they lack in basket-shooting ability, they've gained in conversation skills, thoughtfulness, and an appreciation for family and shared meals.

They don't eat yogurt from a tube while riding in a van, then race home to study. Here's a typical scene at our house: four girls sprawled on floor in front of fireplace, doing homework or reading. This is after we've had an enjoyable dinner and they've cleaned up kitchen.

It makes me feel terribly guilty. Shouldn't I be exhausted and irritable, battered by constant demands for rides and juice packs?

It's not that my kids don't do anything. They're into all kinds of activities--drama, music, dance, volunteer work, and even jobs. Two are gearing up for lacrosse, one is in midst of interviews for a year-long exchange program, while oldest is in her senior year and doing college application dance. It's a busy time.

And yet, they still eat a real dinner at home most nights.

All of us--singles, married couples, young families and empty nesters--can benefit from dinner ritual. By adopting and continuing tradition of shared meals and conversation, we are emphasizing importance of thinking and sharing ideas. If we want our culture to value thinking, we've got to start by offering a tribute to it on a daily basis.

Okay, so my kids may never get athletic scholarships. They may never meet a single university athletic director before choosing which college to attend. They won't be next Olympic gymnast or ice skater, and they're not likely to be conducting symphonies by time they're 25.

They'll have to settle for being happy, smart, kind, aware, motivated, and full of enthusiasm for world and their place in it. Their father and I will just have to be satisfied with lasting memories of slow life with our cherished children, and our daughters will strive only to duplicate this same lifestyle for their own families someday.

Radical, isn't it?