The Finer Points of Poverty

Written by Timothy Ward

Continued from page 1


- I get to shop at stores with improperly spelled titles like Sav-A-Lot, Thrif-Ti-Mart, and DisKount King. These stores offer a wide variety of out-dated, slightly damaged merchandise that Wal-Mart shoppers can only dream of.

- I get to drool at resturant commercials on TV because I know I will never be able to afford meals like that again unless a rich relative dies

- I get to wear my friend's hand-me-down clothes and shoes. This means that I rarely match and my feet ache constantly from wearing shoes that are three sizes too small.

- I get to freely engage inrepparttar offical sports ofrepparttar 134936 National Poor People's Association: begging and borrowing.

- I get to go to bed every night withrepparttar 134937 comforting thought that if I ever do meet Ms.Right I can't afford to date her.

I'll stop there because I seerepparttar 134938 envy rising to dangerous levels in a few reader's eyes. These readers probably have steady jobs and nice homes or apartments. Their bills are probably caught up. They probably have an immense wardrobe with properly sized shoes. Their bank account probably never drops below $5,000. I apologize to these readers if my boasting about my impoverished condition has made them feel inferior and totally removed any self-esteem they may have had left. All I can say is that I never meant to be poor. I was just inrepparttar 134939 right places atrepparttar 134940 right times. Maybe one day all of you will find yourselves onrepparttar 134941 Road to Rags as well. Until then you can check in with me if you want to know what it's like. I'll berepparttar 134942 guy onrepparttar 134943 side ofrepparttar 134944 interstate off-ramp withrepparttar 134945 'Will Work For Food' sign. Pull your Mercedes right up and ask me anything. I promise I won't laugh.

Timothy Ward invites you to subscribe to his weekly humor column 'I Never Said I Was Normal' at


Written by Dave Bealer

Continued from page 1

There are literally millions upon millions of e-commerce web sites onrepparttar Web today, yet a very small percentage of those are marketing humorous merchandise. Giving your business a sense of humor can really make it stand out and give you a special place inrepparttar 118312 minds of your customers. Think for a minute about a few people that you genuinely like. Why do you like them so much? Most likely, one ofrepparttar 118313 reasons is because they make you laugh.

Great-selling humor items can range from stationary, to posters, to doormats, key chains, shirts, mugs, and a huge variety of other items. You don't need to be an expert on salesmanship, because your merchandise will speak for itself and compel people to buy. Most of all, you'll be associated with good times and great memories.

Dave Bealer has made a successful business selling humor products online. For more information about Dave and his business, see Email Dave at

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