Texas Slim graduated from A1, A3/G1, G3 School of calling a game. Sometimes it's served him well. Other times it has not.

"I've been humiliated as a man, sure," Texas Slim said. "But that comes with territory. Battleship teaches you how to be a better man."

When you go "nothing but white" in Pro Battleship, which means you place nothing but white pegs on opponents' board for at least five rounds, it can become very frustrating.

"You feel like a sissy cream puff, maybe even a chicken-hearted fool or pessimistic imp," said James "The Fat Blacksmith" Sheppard III. "Some guys never get over it. I've seen their tour careers ruined."

Pro Battleship can be rough, but rewards can be amazing. Scrupulous Kentucky Lou has won more than $10.45 in career earnings. Infomercial James averages about $1.10 every 6-8 weeks.

"Some people think we're crazy," Infomercial James said. "Well if that be so, then so be it."

First, I am not too happy with this April 15th deadline. I feel it is much too restrictive and rigid. What is so special about April 15 that our government should have such an apprehension about me missing this deadline? What is wrong with June 15? Or, September 22, for that matter?

I believe IRS should be more understanding and practice a nonjudgmental attitude. After all, this is a new millennium calling for a new attitude on this whole business of taxes. They ought to trust me to send in my taxes whenever I'm ready, or remember.

There are some deductions I have never seen on forms I have filled out and I have always wondered why. Let me list some:

Grandchildren — have never been listed as a legitimate deduction. Does IRS know just how expensive grandchildren are? My jellybean budget alone could finance a small third world country and I only have three grandchildren.

Pets — have never been included as deductions. Pets have a marvelous role in enhancing our lives and giving us a good excuse to get out of house and walk around block.

Pet food is expensive, as any pet owner knows, not to mention those exorbitant veterinary bills. (Does my doghouse qualify as a home office? I spend a lot of time there so it should.)

Vacation — is another overlooked item. Does IRS think I am taking a vacation just for my health? Oh, yea. I am. Well, my health is important. Every dollar I spend on vacation should be deducted from my income and not be taxable, which would take a lot of stress off my next vacation.

Presents — don't tell me Christmas presents are not authentic tax-deductible considerations. If it were not for me buying all those Christmas presents general economy of our country would go into a slump. Buying Christmas presents is one thing I can do for my country and I should expect some compensation.

These are just a few suggestions I would make if left up to me.

There is no way I could get away with writing my own ticket for my personal income tax return. The government has set up rules and regulations to guide everyone.

Some people think they can write their own ticket when it comes to God, forgetting God has established rules and regulations that apply to everyone.

The Bible clearly says; "There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but end thereof are ways of death." (Proverbs 14:12 KJV.) And, "Jesus saith unto him, I am way, truth, and life: no man cometh unto Father, but by me." (John 14:6 KJV.)

Reverend Snyder is currently ministering at the "Family of God Fellowship" in Ocala, Florida. More of his articles are available for reprint at his website: http://www.godspenman.com/ Rev. Snyder is available as a guest speaker. He writes a weekly column and is the author of "You Can Always Tell a Pastor; But Not Very Much " available at: http://www.jamessnyderministries.com/