The Fear of Feeling

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Continued from page 1

When we were babies and small children, we couldn't allow ourselves to feel these feelings. We could not have handled them and may have died of despair. So we learned many protections to avoid feeling these feelings.

The problem is that we still think we will die if we feel these feelings, so we are still avoiding them. We avoid connecting with God for fear God will not be there and we will feel alone. We get angry, withdraw, eat, drink, take drugs, watch TV, get busy, overwork and so on to avoid feelingrepparttar pain of our loneliness and helplessness.

Yet loneliness in our society is unavoidable. There are so many people who spend their lives with their hearts closed to avoid their pain that it is impossible not to be around people whose hearts are closed some ofrepparttar 126229 time. If we choose to avoid feeling our loneliness and helplessness, then we too will close our heart. However, when we close our heart we close downrepparttar 126230 joy too. Then we are stuck withrepparttar 126231 anxiety, fear, depression and hurt that is endemic in our society.

You will not die if you open to feeling your loneliness and helplessness. It is even quite tolerable if you hold your lonely Inner Child (your feeling self) while bringing through love from Spirit, for then you are not alone in your loneliness. The willingness to feelrepparttar 126232 pain of loneliness and helplessness opensrepparttar 126233 door to joy, peace, and freedom. The more you open to spiritual help in your loneliness,repparttar 126234 more you are able to embracerepparttar 126235 privilege of this sacred journey of evolving your soul. There is great joy inrepparttar 126236 journey, even when there is loneliness!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?", "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: or


Written by Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW

Continued from page 1

It's been said that some people look at life through rose- colored lenses. When you become chronically depressed you look at life through ash-colored lenses. It taints how you see everything in your life.

To lend an example... I walked out intorepparttar waiting room to greet a new client. I extended my hand and introduced myself. The gentleman replied with, "Hello, I'm Mr. Depression!" In all fairness, he said this in a funny manner. We each had a chuckle, but it gave me automatic insight into how deeply depression had sunk into this young man. We'll call him John.

Byrepparttar 126228 end of our initial session I was talking with John about how is life might be different if (listen closely here) he was a man "under attack from depression" vs. a man who "is depression." Do you seerepparttar 126229 incredible difference here?

If I AM DEPRESSION... if that's who I am, how inrepparttar 126230 world can I change WHO I AM? John immediately saw how he had over-identified with depression. He had lost his identity. This took about two years. His insight was a huge first step in putting distance between himself and depression.

In later sessions we had some fun. I had him create a name forrepparttar 126231 depression problem. Then he completed a biography statement ofrepparttar 126232 depression problem, including traits, goals, dominant feelings etc. In a following session he brought a picture to representrepparttar 126233 depression problem, introducedrepparttar 126234 problem to me by name and taught me about repparttar 126235 problem usingrepparttar 126236 mini-biography form I had given him.

This added great distance between him and depression. We didn't stop there. His next task was to complete an exercise in re-acquainting himself with who he was at his core (outside of depression).

This was a powerful exercise having to do with death and what was most important to him as he imagined that he was in his final days here on Earth. Although a painful exercise, it is a direct path torepparttar 126237 heart, making it very powerful.

And once you strip away allrepparttar 126238 clutter in your life,repparttar 126239 heart holdsrepparttar 126240 truth about what is most dear to you --


\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW is an author, university faculty member, success coach and veteran psychotherapist whose passion is guiding others to their own success in life. For weekly doses of the webs HOTTEST success tips, sign up for Dave's powerful “Feeling Great!” ezine at \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

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