When we are giving ourselves attention and appreciation that we need and we then receive appreciation from others, it feels wonderful but it is icing on cake, not cake itself. When it becomes cake itself, then we need to look within and recognize that we have handed over to others job of defining and validating our own worth and lovability.

When you share something about yourself with intent of getting approval, attention or appreciation, it doesn’t feel like sharing to other people. Instead they feel pulled at to validate you. When you share something about yourself with intent of offering something to others, it feels like a gift. This is clearly illustrated in wonderful movie, Good Will Hunting. In this movie therapist, played by Robin Williams, shares much personal information about himself with his client Will, an angry and resistant young man. He shared it, not because he wanted or needed anything back, but purely to help Will feel safe in opening to his own pain.

We can all challenge ourselves to be aware of our intent when we offer positive feedback to others - is it a true gift or does it have strings attached? And we can challenge ourselves to be aware of our intent when we share things about ourselves - are we giving or trying to get? Giving to get doesn't feel good to others who are at other end of pull, and getting what we want from others feels good only for moment, but is ultimately tiring for us. It is tiring to always be trying to get from others what we need to be giving to ourselves.

Giving appreciation and sharing ourselves from a loving heart, with no need to get anything back, will always feel wonderful and energizing to us and to others.

It can. We can learn to take attitude and freshness of summer and bring it into our minds, hearts, and habits for all four seasons. All we have to do is learn to bring more play into our everyday lives. Some benefits of play are that we open our heart’s wider, we notice more possibilities, we feel more alive, more relaxed. Play replenishes and revitalizes our human spirit. Here are 5 ways to be more playful:

1.Do kid-like activities. Play games, swing on swingset, wrestle and romp, do a cartwheel or roll, practice a new dive. 2.Release pressure. Let go of heavy concerns, problems, or issues. Instead focus on being light, flexible, and stress-free. 3.Trust in universe. Know that you can release need to control everything in life, and that you will receive even more than you could hope for. 4.Hang out with playful people or animals. Borrow pets or children and spend time with them. Do things they do, learn from them. They have so much to teach about art of play. 5.Go somewhere new. Travel is a great way to pretend to be someone other than who you normally are. You can trade in your responsible role for one more fun. Since no one knows you, feel free to try different things---fishing, scuba diving, or horse back riding.

Play is an essential and important part of a happy and whole life. If you can take action each day to increase amount of play you experience, you will get to know real person behind all your roles and responsibilities, tap into your true nature, and begin to feel like a kid again. My grandpa would certainly approve!