Susan turned to me for help. Together we decided that Ryan needed to speak to a therapist of his own, and that whole family could benefit from family therapy. Although Susan was an excellent psychiatrist, in this situation she was a mother and wife first. Through a social service agency affiliated with hospital where she worked, Susan, her son, and newly blended family were able to find help they needed.

The immediate crisis had been handled by calling her attorney, but it had taken several weeks of careful consideration to find appropriate long-term help. Susan was lucky. She already knew a mental health professional whom she trusted. Still, it took time before she was able to sort out a useful direction for all involved.

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.

The destruction of New York’s twin towers and part of supposedly invincible Pentagon, as well as deaths of those who went down in hijacked planes has broken beyond many men’s usual defenses. They no longer feel like modern cave men and they are hurt, angry and afraid. Tears come at unexpected times and they are surprised.

Over time, these men will have a wide range of feelings. And, depending upon what happens within next few weeks in terms of retaliation war, capture of enemy or closure, their feelings will change. But ladies, take care. Be gentle with your guys. This is first time many of them have had their hearts punctured. Treat their experience with respect. Know that for many of them, they will not react way you do. Give them space and love and if they choose to talk, listen. It will take a long time for all of us to heal. And guys tend to heal differently from women. Meanwhile, I am meeting my friend tomorrow. He still sounds weepy. But if asked, he swears he’s OK. We’ll see what happens over dinner. At this point, I truly don’t know how it will go.

Life is too hard to do alone,

Dr. D.

Dorree Lynn, PH.D.

Dr. Dorree Lynn is co-founder of the Institute for the Advanced Study of Psychotherapy and a practicing clinician in New York and Washington, DC. Dr. Lynn served on the executive board of the American Academy of Psychotherapists and she is on the editorial board of their publication, Voices. She is also a regular columnist for the Washington, DC newspaper, The Georgetowner. Dr. Lynn is a noted speaker and well known on the lecture circuit.