I think of my oldest daughter. She is eight and already is very good at playing piano… like my wife. She's a musical genius. The piano keys do exactly what she wants them to do. She's a genius in playing piano; but not more then a few weeks ago she asked me…

“What does inside of a piano look like?”

She knew exactly what keys to press to make piano do what she wanted yet she had no idea how piano made noise.

It would be as wise to trust my yellow lab Titus to repair my piano then to leave it to my friend's daughter. Although my daughter Gayle plays piano successfully, she knows noth­ing of inside parts which determine its action.

There's something left out in many of those books we read… You need to know process of succeeding, and means to be used. But, first you need to know which factors deter­mine success.

"I've been thinking of advice which most successful people have given us. They think that factors which deter­mine success are hard work, enthusiasm, honesty, persistency, and so forth.

These are valuable assets, but they are not determining factors.

"Knowledge, for instance, is a valuable asset, but it does not determine success- for there are thousands of men of knowl­edge who fail. Being industrious is a valuable asset, but not determining factors- for thousands of industrious workers fail to become successful men. We must dis­cover determining factors first. Then, we'll know factors which will always insure success-which will always make suc­cess certain."

What are factors then?

They are: health, good ap­pearance, hard work, enthusiasm, industry, persistence, sincerity, earnestness, self-confidence, concentration, determination, honesty, good memory, self-control, tact, patience, and imagination.

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The final way to meet one’s need for power is "power within" oneself. This is generally seen as a need for pride or competence. Those with a high power need who meet it through power within methods like to always do their best. They may seem to be perfectionistic but producing their best is very need satisfying to them.

In relationships, this power need accounts for workaholism, people who always need to control everything around them and a low degree of tolerance for imperfection in others. The power need has a big influence in interpersonal relationships.

The fourth need to discuss is need for freedom. People with a high need for freedom are independent and like to do things their own way. High freedom need people generally don't like rules---particularly ones that don't make sense. They also value their time alone. They like to do what they want, when they want.

There is usually an inverse relationship between love & belonging and freedom needs. When a person has a high need for love & belonging, he or she typically has a lower need for freedom and vice versa. Of course, there are exceptions but typically there is an opposite relationship between two.

The last of Choice Theory’s basic human needs is fun. Fun seems pretty straightforward but there are some subtleties to it that are necessary to understand. There are basically three kinds of fun. There is loud, energetic kind of fun that people might get from physical activity and parties, for example. There is quiet, relaxing kind of fun that might be enjoyed by fishing, lying in a hammock on a warm summer’s day or reading for pleasure. Then there is learning as fun.

Now, I’m not talking about when you learned algebra! For most of us that wasn’t fun but I am talking about learning something you are interested in that has useful application for you. For me, best example is when I learned how to downhill ski and made it first time down slope without falling and getting snow down my jacket, up my pant legs and various other places! It is sheer joy of learning something that interests you. Everyone has various ways of meeting their fun needs and it is these differences that can drastically affect your satisfaction in your relationship.

It is not always true that in order for your relationship to succeed, you must have equal or almost equal need strengths in all five needs. For some needs, it is best when one of you is high and one of you is low in that need.

Go to www.TheRelationshipCenter.biz and take free assessment today. It’s on “Free Stuff” page, with a link provided on home page. See what assessment has to say. If you have some questions, join me in my chat room during one of my scheduled chats to discuss it, leave me a message on my blog (click on “View our Web Journal” link on home page) or check events calendar for upcoming workshops.

There is so much to learn about improving significant relationships in our lives. This provides you with one more piece to puzzle. Our workshop and weekend conferences give you many more of puzzle pieces to help you make sense of and work to improve your relationships. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Invest in your relationships today.