There was nothing wrong here, nothing that Kevin was doing needed to be corrected. I knew that Kevin would get around to finishing system before too long ... but I wanted him to know, as well, that I knew what was going on. A gentle nudge was all it took to get Lori taken care of, as well as to deliver message that I had other information sources than just one's that Kevin knew about.

Remember to keep in touch with other people as well, although perhaps not as often. You should talk to vendors, business partners, peers, and anyone else that might come in contact with your people. Just talk to them (these are not interrogations) and file away comments in your mind for appropriate time.

Of course, if during these conversations you find out anything that does need to be handled, then by all means do it.

What is purpose of all of this? It's very straightforward. You are building up respect. You see, a boss that knows what's happening at all times is much more likely to be obeyed and respected than one who is not. It's hard to respect someone who is ignorant.

It's very easy and actually quite fun when you get hang of it. Sometimes shocked look on someone's face when you indicate that you knew about such and such is a reward all on it's own.

How do you use this information? Get into habit of asking your people questions. You might ask them how they feel about their workplace environment or whether their work is challenging enough for them (this shows that you care). Then you might commend them for working an extra hour a few days ago (how heck did you know that, employee will think). You might ask another employee else how food was at Black Angus day before, or ask if employee needed help on Anderson project.

You see technique? You are asking your people for their opinions and feelings, which means that you care about them. You know what's going on, which means they are much less likely to do something wrong, as they understand that you will find out (there will be no doubt in their minds).

Simply put, you respect your people enough to keep in touch with them, and they will return that respect a hundred times over.

And that's all there is to that.

It is possible to let go of wanting approval if you know right questions to ask yourself, then you will be able to release neediness and instead feel your own approval of yourself which then causes others to reflect that acceptance back to you.

Ask yourself, which would I rather have, wanting approval or having approval? Ask this question again and again even for up to ten minutes at a time and you will find that your feelings shift and you will feel better about yourself and less attached to getting approval from other people.

Test this for yourself when you are alone as well as when you are with other people. I find that my breathing changes and I start to feel more at peace within minutes when I use this approach. Enjoy!