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Interestingly, Julie says
wheel lowers her stress, keeps consequences appropriate, and removes parents from "Bad Guy" label. In past, she and her husband would have to repeatedly ask David to do something, only to hear him say, "I know." This would come to a boil, and in anger they would yell and exact a punishment too harsh for infraction.
Now, wheel does all work.
"David, it's 8:15; you haven't started dishes yet. I'm afraid we'll have to spin wheel."
"But, Mom!"
"I'm sorry, Dear. It's really not up to me. Those are rules we all agreed on. Gee, I hope you don't land on a really bad consequence."
Julie says, "The amazing thing is, we're no longer bad guys. We can actually root for kids as they drag themselves up to wheel. It's no longer 'us against them'. It's wheel that they have to answer to. But greatest thing of all is that we hardly ever have to use wheel. It hangs on kitchen wall, acting as a watchdog and reminder."
What Else?
The Butlers' website, http://www.better-behavior.com , shows some parents of ADHD children have found wheel to be a wonderful program. That is great news for many! Every parent should work with their child's personality and decide if wheel is right for them, keeping in mind that every program doesn't work with every child.
There are a couple of letters on Julie's site from parents asking for help with children who are completely out of control. One mother says her five-year-old "beats (his big sister), kills animals, curses, and destroys everything in his path." Another mother said her six-year-old adopted daughter has angry outbursts and goes in cycles. She wondered what to do when her child refuses consequences and it starts another battle.
These are warning signs of something more serious than just a discipline problem. Often, young children and teenagers exhibiting these symptoms have a physical problem that can cause behavioral changes, such as infections, Lyme Disease and thyroid problems. Mental disorders such as early-onset bipolar disorder can also cause very similar symptoms and must be diagnosed and treated immediately.
In these cases, Wheel would not be appropriate and medical intervention is needed immediately. For help, contact your pediatrician and look for information on these diseases and disorders on Internet.
However, there is still a possibility that wheel will be valuable with a child who is stabilized. Again, parents will have to make decision to try wheel according to each child.
The Last Word
Parents of children with normal behavior and discipline problems are encouraged to try this wheel and have a little fun with discipline! Bringing whole family into discipline decision-making is an excellent way to work as a team and come to a peaceful solution. The wheel isn't meant to exact negative punishment on a child, but rather remind them to pick their battles and mind their parents.
Teachers and parents alike will find wheel very useful in classrooms and homes everywhere with children ages four and up!
Gina Ritter is a personal life coach for parents and publisher of www.naturalfamilyonline.com. She lives in New York with her husband and three boys (who also spin in the kitchen).
