Every relationship is an exchange, and yes a form of negotiations is taking place. They may be exchanging your love and support for my love and support or any of a variety of role designations. What each party brings to table may not be directly negotiated, but an evaluation is taking place on how a potential partner attributes meets your desires and needs. Yet none of this has anything to do with a "buy" and this decision making process goes on whether we are aware of it or not and it is a good way of determining if both are a good fit for relationship. You say an American version of your wife would not be interested in you. What exactly does that mean?

I said she would not notice me. This means I would not catch eye of an extremely beautiful American woman 18 years younger than me. What is an American "version" of your wife?

The short answer is a top of line woman with super model looks in prime of her youth with a college education. How do you qualify that statement?

I will quantify it for you a perfect 10. Does it mean that you are shallow and require a certain physical ideal woman whose arbitrary and fleeting beauty you desire? It means that I am normal and enjoy beauty of attractive younger women. I don't expect beauty of my wife to diminish in my eyes. Beauty is not "arbitrary" it is well defined in our society, but there is nothing wrong with an individuals arbitrary determination of beauty. While you like to throw out "shallow" I considered all tangible and intangible qualities in selection of my wife. If anyone is shallow maybe it is you. You appear to want to eliminate looks as a factor in choosing a partner because it is fleeting. You throw less into mix than I do. So, how does that make you different from women who are after men for their money or power?

I have no objections to such women. They can set their criteria in any manner they so choose. I provide an avenue for men to counter such women. I am not trying to restrict anyone's selection of a spouse as you appear to be. It just seems so cynical when people view relationships this way. To use a really silly example, it is kind of like fictional relationships depicted on "reality" t.v. Joe Millionaire wants a woman who is beautiful (his shallow criteria) and women are looking for money (their shallow criteria). [I gather from all hoopla about it that woman who won was not actually in it for money, but who cares.] Anyway, premise was such that he would get his beautiful woman, but that when she finds out he is not rich she will want nothing to do with him. I suppose that intention of shows like this is to stereotype women as gold-diggers and men as shallow people seeking trophy wives. This just seems so cynical and jaded to me. I bring this up because that is overall impression I get when looking at websites such as yours.

I don't see cynicism you see. International Introductions exudes positivism and hope for discovering a different variety of woman that may be more suited for some men and compatibility of their relationship. It is not cynical for two adults to determine content and means for forming a relationship. It appears that your cynicism derives from viewer and not by what is being viewed. And I guess what I'm saying is that maybe there are gold-digging women and shallow men in world.

Men seeking beautiful wives are not shallow. If Albert Einstein wanted an attractive, young, beautiful foreign wife by your definition he would be shallow. And maybe they deserve each other when they end up together, and they don't mind what their relationships are based upon. (I can't imagine that they would actually be happy, but hey). And I feel like general message of your website is to take man's portion of that shallow relationship and do away with it. As though you are saying: "Hey you! Want a gorgeous wife but don't have money to attract one? We have solution!"

Your belief that wanting a gorgeous, foreign wife makes you shallow is wrong. But even if we accept your conclusion what is wrong with that? If I only want to watch cartoons instead of "better" television programming and you consider this shallow, fine. What's this have to do with your involvement and concern between two adults and relationship they choose to be in? I know many, many beautiful American women who don't care about finances of their significant others.

I accept that. And I also know many American men who look for more in a wife than physical appearance

This is case for every man I know And before you think to correct me on this I am aware that beauty and age are not only selling points of your introduction service, they are just important enough to be mentioned prominently on your main web page.

You should know by now that men are visual, which is why beauty and youth holds a prominent role for men. It is simply way we are and there is nothing wrong with that. Calling men shallow for our nature is like calling a man a "plate" word carries no negative concern or relevance to us. It does not make us feel ashamed or any less driven in using beauty as an important component in selecting a wife.

“Did it ever occur to you that things you look for in a woman might be similar to qualities that women look for in men? (That is, women who have options). Kindness, intelligence, sense of humor, morality - these are all desirable qualities, none of which have anything to do with money.”

Amy I make no claims otherwise. I just reject demeaning limitations you assign to these women.

“You are just trying to console yourself for being undesirable by saying that American women only want "Mr. Big".

Amy I sell matchmaking services, which means like all businesses I have to sell. My "Mr. Big" comment is nothing more then selling off of one of hundreds of criteria men and women apply in dating. Are you telling me some American women do not judge men by their financial stature? Is this what you are telling me Amy, because I said nothing more then this?

“The only thing you can offer is passage to America and a possible green card (things that American women do not need).”

Boy did my wife Karina get a bum deal; were going to be living in Colombia, so she doesn't even get that. Again Amy you categorize with out knowing. I can only assume from way you like to throw accusations void of facts that your "research" will be just as slanted. Did it ever occur to you to know of what you speak before you speak? Let me stick you foot further in your mouth. While my situation is certainly atypical, your attack on me is personal so I will provide my personal story. My wife comes from a well off family. She was not a member of a Colombian marriage agency nor did she know such things existed. She led a privileged life. She was chauffeured to University, she traveled to Europe, she owned property and was pampered her whole life. Her family has greater economic wealth then I do and did not want Karina to marry me. I told them Karina would not have a personal maid in United States and that she would have to contribute with family workload as most American women do. They told me I was crazy, Karina didn't even know how to cook white rice. But even against her families wishes Karina wanted to marry me. Her family pressured her by cutting off all her privileges anticipating that she would buckle under. When that did not work, they threw her out of family. Here is a girl with a very large family, where family is everything, being evicted from her comfortable home and catered life with nothing. She was shunned from her family for hiding her romance and wanting to marry me. Yet you blindly conclude that she does not love me and I lured her to America because she lived an impoverished life of desperation. Amy I am curious, is it occurring to you to say maybe I should have my facts straight before I spit venom, because if it does then there is still salvation for you.

“So you provide these things to lure vulnerable young women away from lives of poverty.”

Amy if you were to tell these women that they lead lives of poverty they would slap you in face. The poverty of a woman's pocket is meaningless to an American man. The impoverishment of a woman soul, heart and values is not. Foreign women would consider you poor person for having latter. One of many reasons they are drawn to American men is because we can recognize such difference, as do they. Amy aren't these women adults free to make responsible adult decisions? I have women on my website over 50 years old, at what age is a woman able to make a decision on her own without you denouncing her ability to do so? My last engagement was with a couple both in their 40's is she another vulnerable, young woman Amy? Who should validate if these women are too young or vulnerable in deciding who and when to marry, you Amy? Or do you suggest we form a committee to make such a decision for them? Earlier you said women look for positive qualities in a partner, but at same time, you don't believe these women look for such qualities. What makes you think these women are materialistic oriented. Is it possible that you are materialist and can't comprehend other women outlooks being different then yours?

“Are you at all embarrassed or ashamed about that?”

Amy I am very proud and happy in what I do. What is even more important is happiness and joy I bring to couples we bring together. It appears only people who are not happy are people like you who enjoy intervening in other people's happiness. As I said to you before, you won't directly talk to these women because it would only corroborate what I have been telling you. They select men for marriage out of love for that man. You won't talk to ones that have been married for 5 years, you won't talk to ones that have been married for 10 years, and you won't talk to my Mom a foreign bride happily married to my dad for over 45 years. She raised five children and had a career working for one company for over 30 years. They now lead a life of world travel, family visits and volunteer work. No I do not think you will talk with such women. The thought of your false, shallow book-learned ideals being shattered by realties of their happiness and real life perspective would be just too incongruent for your entrenched twisted views.