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Come and shake my hand, signifying your acceptance of Christ, and then it doesn’t matter whether death overtakes you drunk in a saloon or from
arms of a harlot -- you shall have been saved, you will go directly to heaven for an eternity with Jesus and with God our heavenly father.
I remember my father grumbling aghast to my mother;
What is that idiot teaching our teenagers -- that living a Christian life gives them license to immorality and sin, to drunkenness and adultery, if you first get saved? He’s a loony. Not only must you talk talk; each Christian must walk walk. You must run race through to end!
I shall elaborate more on this later but for now, let me say here that dealing successfully with life and its problems, with our secret yearnings, is much like following a twelve- steps program for drug addicts. It is never a one-time event such as being redeemed through a simple mental assent. Human nature is too complex for so simplistic a deliverance, although as an aspect of God’s grace, it must begin with contrition and a connection with Cosmic Creator. Given fact we are subjective and finite creature-selves, frequently in conflict in an imperfect world, our psychospiritual health is always a life-long project we must accept and follow through to end. Of course that creates a problem for many because we are such impatient souls. We are indeed attracted to quick fix solutions whether in religion, industry, education or our personal lives. Even more, we really want to pretend nothing is wrong and then when we are forced to face some unpleasant reality, we usually call in a specialist, have expert do quick fix and write out a check. Psychospiritual healing doesn’t occur that way -- it is process that always extracts a price and often draws blood. Life becomes really satisfying through psychospiritual maturing and no one grows up in a few weeks or months. We mature and nurture ourselves in stages and while others can help, as with Alcoholics Anonymous, you have to very much want to rid yourself of your conscious and unconscious methods of avoiding personal responsibility before you get free.
Through this program I shall be dealing with some of common defenses humans use to feel good about ourselves in a difficult world where life is often nasty, brutish and short. These include keeping secrets from ourselves (repression) -- pretending that unpleasant things didn’t occur or really are not that bad (denial) and keeping existence simplistic (avoidance). This leads to yet another paradox.
Given difficult nature of life, while we cope with tragic triad of suffering, guilt and death, we normally protect our egos in our search for satisfaction, Of course, we all need defenses to avoid severe anxiety that would render us unable to function well. On other hand, when we use too many ego defenses, they play havoc in our families, companies, churches and communities. Getting along without falling into despair is somewhat like balancing along a tight rope. We live on a continuum between neurotic domination and crippling isolation and we must work every day to make life come out right. Much as a recovering addict must deliberately choose each morning to remain sober even as his or her insecurities are clamoring for counterfeit liberation.
Life in raw is often too painful, too dangerous to face without pretensions, ego games and hidden secrets. In fact, we learn early in childhood that some very nasty things happen to everyone -- that life is fatal in end with no one getting out alive. Just last week as I write this, a darling little second grade girl in our community slipped on ice while running after a school bus and was crushed in front of many of her schoolmates. It was devastating to them and I wept as I thought of precious little life cut short in terrible accident.
Amy my own ten year old red-headed, left-handed granddaughter with a mind of her own, recently revealed her anxiety about death to her grandmother. And while I probably would have overwhelmed Amy with my research, Roberta in essence told her that is why we are Christians. She recommended she keep her head cool, her feet warm, her diet modest and to always trust in Lord. My, oh my -- I do have a bevy of strong women in my life. One wife, one daughter, one daughter in law, several granddaughters and a great granddaughter, who keep me honest and humble in our dealings!
To pretend that life is a rose-garden is nothing but self-deception and denial. Therefore we must learn how to cope with reality of existence that is often very hard to bear without fleeing from reality by becoming neurotic. Unfortunately, reality is so terrible a burden to lay on us as children, while we are learning who we are, where we belong and what life is all about, we all use self-deceptive repression and denial. The key is to keep them from dominating our choices. We must learn how to cope successfully with life’s tragic triad and then work at it regularly.
It has become obvious that great human problems of our era no longer come from forces of nature but from within ourselves. Wars, hunger for half world’s people and even global warming are human created conditions. As great philosopher Pogo Possum (a k a Walt Kelly) said, We have met enemy and he is us. We are finite beings who simply cannot find redemption and liberation through our own wisdom and courage. With our psychological unconscious scheming selfishly to dominate others, or conversely, yearning for some great, god-like figure to assume our responsibility for life, we lack spiritual resources to pull it off in our own strength. Fortunately, we can find self-transcending liberation, as reported in Atheist’s Enigma and a Contrite Spirit, while we are connected consciously with God. As Pope John Paul II said;
We cannot be good without God.
To which I add;
We cannot even feel consistently satisfied about ourselves and our achievements without a connection with God that lifts us beyond our own failures and insecurities.
Warmly,
Jard
Author* Jard DeVille has published more than a score of psychology books, seminars and psychological assessment instruments. His book NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST was a powerful best seller in English, Japanese and Spanish editions. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF LEADERSHIP was New American Library's offering in their Executive Development Series. For twenty years he was considered by many to be America's foremost leadership scholar.
Jard DeVille; Psyc. Dept. Chair at Westminster College; leadership psychology at the University of Arizona at Tucson; published psychology books, seminars & psychological assessment instruments. NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST was a best seller. He’s considered by many to be America’s foremost leadership scholar. Visit http://www.fulfillmentforum.com for FREE EBooks & EBiz Tools.
