The Art Of Balancing An Unequal Life

Written by Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE


Continued from page 1

Arerepparttar various tasks and roles you've played congruent withrepparttar 123933 values you've identified? Are you putting more time than is reasonable into some tasks and roles? The operative word here is "reasonable." For example, a special friend lost her husband and had no one to help her with grief and anger, not to mention funeral arrangements and lawyers. My value of service and loving relationships andrepparttar 123934 role as "friend" and also surrogate "daughter" created many tasks and demands. For me, it would have been unreasonable not to spend considerable time with Jeanne. The sailboat headed in her direction.

Another example. I discovered that I was putting far too much time inrepparttar 123935 role of "office worker" rather than inrepparttar 123936 role of "manager". Instead of assigning tasks and growing others, I was taking work on that did NOT need to be done by me. Time to alter course and allow my associates to holdrepparttar 123937 tiller.

Finally, by putting so much emphasis onrepparttar 123938 role of professional speaker and its tasks, I had let drop ME. Time to make decisions for overhaul and repair, saying "yes" to a day off, to a day of contemplative silence. I realized that withoutrepparttar 123939 silence, all I bring torepparttar 123940 platform and my audiences are echoes of words rather than insights.

Step 4: Now that you have identified what is, make a list of questions to ask yourself when you begin to take on a role and task. My list looks like this:

• Does it support my value for life-long learning and make a difference? Will it stop another person from growing?

• Will it stretch my abilities?

I recently accepted an assignment that will cost time, money and effort as well as time away from home. I accepted it because it will move me into trying something that I have never done before ... an activity directly related to my role of profe ssional speaking and service.

• Does it allow me to be with people whom I care about?

How often have we all said "yes" to an engagement because we feel "guilty"? The reality is that we findrepparttar 123941 people tedious, demanding, and downright boring. I have finally determined that if I have limited time with my family and friends, it is perfectly fine to periodically decline such invitations.

• Is it irresistible?

That’s right-- "Irresistible". Does what you are about to say “yes” to come without a significant doubt. Doesrepparttar 123942 request come without compromise or force from eitherrepparttar 123943 offeror or me. There is no emotional blackmail, no "should", no social obligation. Irresistible requests are gifts to be gratefully accepted. If our time is filled only with "resistible" demands, how we will ever be able to acceptrepparttar 123944 irresistible?

• Is it fun and will it allow for creativity and a change of pace?

• Will it create organization and structure in my life? Am Irepparttar 123945 only one who can do this?

• Will it nurture my physical well-being and respect my natural pace?

I have discovered that unlike many of my colleagues, non-stop travel is exhausting and not fun. My body requires seven hours of sleep, regular exercise and down time. I can take only so many back-on-back engagements before I must say "no". Trusting that I can say "no" is a lesson I struggle to learn.

• Is it authentic to me and of service to others?

I was asked if I would run forrepparttar 123946 Board of a non-profit. Knowing I have strong organizational and leadership abilities not to mention an ego- saying "yes" to serverepparttar 123947 membership SEEMED appropriate. However, when I testedrepparttar 123948 request againstrepparttar 123949 other questions listed above, more negative responses appeared.

The art of balancing an unequal life means that we seek answers to all these questions before choosingrepparttar 123950 next activity to put in our life. Yes there will be days, even months, whenrepparttar 123951 pressure of every day pushes us into knee-jerk reactions and work seems to be working us. External forces and folks seem to be pushing us for more, for faster, for further. Once realized, stop. Lowerrepparttar 123952 sails. Breathe. Ask yourself these questions. Remember, there is a big difference betweenrepparttar 123953 leading edge andrepparttar 123954 bleeding edge. Alienation from our authentic, deepest self and each other draws blood. Connection to our core andrepparttar 123955 humanity around us draws life.

Sail on!

© 2000 by Eileen McDargh. All rights reserved. Reprints must include byline, contact information and copyright.

Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE, is an international speaker, author and seminar leader. Her book ‘Work for A Living and Still Be Free to Live’ is also the title of one of her most popular and upbeat programs on Work/Life Balance. For more information on Eileen and her presentations, please call 949-496-8640 or visit her web site at http://www.eileenmcdargh.com.


Tips for Relighting After Burnout: Energizing Self and Others

Written by Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE


Continued from page 1

· Create a workspace that nurtures your soul. Whether it’s filled with pictures ofrepparttar grandkids or flowers from your garden, this space must speak of you.

· Exercise to burn off stress.

· Allow 15 minutes inrepparttar 123932 morning just for you. This is quiet time for centering, breathing, preparing forrepparttar 123933 day. You’ll be glad you did.

Remember: you arerepparttar 123934 captain of your ship. Pay attention torepparttar 123935 wind and waves.

© 2000 by Eileen McDargh. All rights reserved. Reprints must include byline, contact information and copyright.

Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE, is an international speaker, author and seminar leader. Her book ‘Work for A Living and Still Be Free to Live’ is also the title of one of her most popular and upbeat programs on Work/Life Balance. For more information on Eileen and her presentations, please call 949-496-8640 or visit her web site at http://www.eileenmcdargh.com.


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