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But what makes a candidate win an election? The first thing is issues. And what are
matters at
hearts of American voters? Security and terrorism, education, jobs and economy, healthcare and medicare prescription drugs. Others are Social Security and veteran benefits, taxes, abortion, discrimination, gay rights, pollution and
future of
children. We are to imagine that
candidate that will better articulate his view on these issues will carry
day. But not so. Therein lies
difficulty in explaining
meaning of
mighty E word.
This is because other seemingly insignificant things matter in an election. For example,
candidate will learn how to smile from ear to ear like a beauty queen. Not like
mirthless Bob Dole. But like Bill Clinton. Also
candidate will know how to pump
air and shake hands, especially
hands of women. (One former president shook so many hands that his right hand ended up in a bandage and he continued shaking with his left.) See what I mean?
The candidate should also be photogenic and sociable. Like appearing in music concerts—with a neck hankie and strumming a guitar. Or playing
sexaphone. (Sorry, I mean
musical instrument invented by Adolphe Sax.) Right! The saxophone. And then
gals will vote for ya. And jig 'God Bless America' with ya at
Inauguaral Ball. So you see that
meaning of electability is not
meaning. (Therefore E is not E.) For if you can fix all
political, economic, social, health and environmental problems of America, but cannot manage a Mona Lisa smile, shake hands, or play a musical instrument, you are a long shot from
White House.
And that's not all. For even if you are riding high in
polls, things can still go awry. Consider a possible terrorist strike. It changed a government in Spain. Americans have been warned of a coming one. Or of several attacks. There is even talk of changing
November election date because of
threat.
On top of this,
other candidate may start a rumor about your personal or service record? Or that you are desperately trying to pay hush money to your several girlfriends. Or, that your wife is threatening to divorce you on grounds of adultery. Or, worse, that you have been down on your hands and knees beseeching her not to do so. And they actually publish a doctored picture of yours in a kneeling position with upraised hands on
front page of ‘N.Y. Times' or ‘U.S.A Today.' If
rumor starts in late October, it would have been too late for you to set up your damage control mechanism before
‘D day' in early November. End of a dream.
But even on
election date,
E word can work in your favor. Let's say that your brother happens to be
governor of a decisive state that begins with
F word. He can, with sleight of hand, make an E from
tail end of
F to give you victory. That is why this new word is very difficult to define. Because
first letter is actually as amorphous as
one-celled Amoeba. Whichever way you shape it, is
right one.
And as November draws near,
election will reach fever pitch. There will be name calling, double speak and even dodging of issues. Some Americans would pray for
continuation of
status quo, while others would wish for ‘change.' If only
change would rid
world of terrorism. But I don't see that coming. There is a French word which when rendered in English means "the more things change,
more they remain
same." History has proved that to be true.
In
end, one candidate will win and
other will go home. Like
game of musical chairs,
chairs are more than
players running around
chairs. Those who don't find chairs to sit when
music stops, lose out. And wait for
next round of music.
Talking of music, there are few languages in
world that are as musical as French. The French have a saying: "Que le meilleur candidat gagne." (Pronounced "ke le meyer candida gagn.") See
music in
sound? Translation: May
'better' candidate win!"
Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and author of
writing handbook, HOW TO WRITE A BESTSELLER and CHASING SHADOWS!, a book that reveals
terrorists' master plan to finally set
world on fire! Goto: http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/21013 For his works and FREE articles, use
search engines and search 'ARTHUR ZULU.' For contacts, mailto: mostcontroversialwriter@yahoo.com
