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But what makes a candidate win an election? The first thing is issues. And what are matters at hearts of American voters? Security and terrorism, education, jobs and economy, healthcare and medicare prescription drugs. Others are Social Security and veteran benefits, taxes, abortion, discrimination, gay rights, pollution and future of children. We are to imagine that candidate that will better articulate his view on these issues will carry day. But not so. Therein lies difficulty in explaining meaning of mighty E word.
This is because other seemingly insignificant things matter in an election. For example, candidate will learn how to smile from ear to ear like a beauty queen. Not like mirthless Bob Dole. But like Bill Clinton. Also candidate will know how to pump air and shake hands, especially hands of women. (One former president shook so many hands that his right hand ended up in a bandage and he continued shaking with his left.) See what I mean?
The candidate should also be photogenic and sociable. Like appearing in music concerts—with a neck hankie and strumming a guitar. Or playing sexaphone. (Sorry, I mean musical instrument invented by Adolphe Sax.) Right! The saxophone. And then gals will vote for ya. And jig 'God Bless America' with ya at Inauguaral Ball. So you see that meaning of electability is not meaning. (Therefore E is not E.) For if you can fix all political, economic, social, health and environmental problems of America, but cannot manage a Mona Lisa smile, shake hands, or play a musical instrument, you are a long shot from White House.
And that's not all. For even if you are riding high in polls, things can still go awry. Consider a possible terrorist strike. It changed a government in Spain. Americans have been warned of a coming one. Or of several attacks. There is even talk of changing November election date because of threat.
On top of this, other candidate may start a rumor about your personal or service record? Or that you are desperately trying to pay hush money to your several girlfriends. Or, that your wife is threatening to divorce you on grounds of adultery. Or, worse, that you have been down on your hands and knees beseeching her not to do so. And they actually publish a doctored picture of yours in a kneeling position with upraised hands on front page of ‘N.Y. Times' or ‘U.S.A Today.' If rumor starts in late October, it would have been too late for you to set up your damage control mechanism before ‘D day' in early November. End of a dream.
But even on election date, E word can work in your favor. Let's say that your brother happens to be governor of a decisive state that begins with F word. He can, with sleight of hand, make an E from tail end of F to give you victory. That is why this new word is very difficult to define. Because first letter is actually as amorphous as one-celled Amoeba. Whichever way you shape it, is right one.
And as November draws near, election will reach fever pitch. There will be name calling, double speak and even dodging of issues. Some Americans would pray for continuation of status quo, while others would wish for ‘change.' If only change would rid world of terrorism. But I don't see that coming. There is a French word which when rendered in English means "the more things change, more they remain same." History has proved that to be true.
In end, one candidate will win and other will go home. Like game of musical chairs, chairs are more than players running around chairs. Those who don't find chairs to sit when music stops, lose out. And wait for next round of music.
Talking of music, there are few languages in world that are as musical as French. The French have a saying: "Que le meilleur candidat gagne." (Pronounced "ke le meyer candida gagn.") See music in sound? Translation: May 'better' candidate win!"
Arthur Zulu is an editor, book reviewer, and author of writing handbook, HOW TO WRITE A BESTSELLER and CHASING SHADOWS!, a book that reveals terrorists' master plan to finally set world on fire! Goto: http://www.1stbooks.com/bookview/21013 For his works and FREE articles, use search engines and search 'ARTHUR ZULU.' For contacts, mailto: email@example.com
Arthur Zulu is the author of HOW TO WRITE A BESTSELLER and CHASING SHADOWS! available on the Internet