Anger management is neither counseling nor psychotherapy. It’s an intervention that teaches skills in managing anger, stress, improving communications and developing capacity to be more empathetic.

When it comes to dealing with anger, first step is awareness; awareness of what tends to trigger intense feelings in you. When you can anticipate what is likely to occur in those situations, you can step back and take stock of situation. Take a mental time out in which you allow yourself some time to reflect and think of best course of action, one that will not be harmful to you or other party.

Another important way to handle anger is self talk. This is extremely important and learning to tell yourself positive things can help you get a different perspective on situation. Tell yourself you have a lot more to live for than other person and find a way to detach from other person. Other things you can say are “I don’t need to prove myself in this situation, I can stay calm.” Or “As long as I keep cool I’m in control of myself.” “I need to take time to relax and slow things down.” “The only thing I can control is myself and how I express my feelings.”

So many people get angry because they’re trying to get another person to change; their partner, their parents or boss. The fact is that it’s impossible to make other people change. They will only change if they want to. When you change your approach and you communicate differently it pulls different behavior from other person and it completely changes style of interaction.

Taking responsibility for yourself and your own feelings is critical at home. Especially in relationships, partners will start escalating each other and before long you have a major conflict. Both people think they’re right and justified in how they’re feeling and behaving. There’s no end of triggers or reasons to make you angry. At some point you have to take responsibility in order to start changing pattern.

Anger is a normal human emotion. If one does not experience anger then it is not possible to experience joy, love or any other emotion. The problem is not to rid oneself of anger, but to manage anger in such a way that leads to a positive outcome for yourself and others.

Once you have determined where your transferable skills may be best used, you can work on some Productive Strategies to market yourself. This may be using your networking skills to gain access to some new employers, or it may be revising your resume to highlight your skills instead of your work history. It may also involve doing some volunteer work to expand your network by putting you in touch with people who might have other contacts you can use in your job search.

Fran Watson is an Employment Counsellor http://www.franwatson.ca