(These three stages represent being single and importance of using “Screen-out” process.) Breaking Up Stage “I no longer have love with this person” Goal: to let go of person/love Characterized by disappointment/relief

(Breaking up is a transitional stage.)

Exclusivity Stage “I think this is love” Goal: to further qualify person to see if she/he might be a good match Characterized by excitement Commitment Stage “I know this is love” Goal: to close deal Characterized by confidence Keeping Love You Find Stage “I want to keep this love” Goal: to preserve love you have found Characterized by continuous commitment

(These three stages represent being involved and importance of using “Screen-in” process.)

The key is to consciously place yourself in each stage. For example, if you decide you want to be in “dating stage” then be fully present and make a true effort to make yourself available for dating. If, however, you find that your heart isn’t in it, and that you would rather avoid relationships, then you need to stop and consciously put yourself back in that stage. This will help you to stay clear on what you want and enable you to honestly communicate to others "where you are at.” Each level and stage of relationship is a transition and involves psychological and emotional energy. As you progress through each level, you will no doubt experience excitement and anxiety, hope and fear, arousal and dis-arousal, certainty and uncertainty, along with a myriad of other feelings. You will need to work hard at balancing messages that you are receiving from both your head and your heart to most accurately interpret incoming, overwhelming information—it is very easy to be misled.

***This article is adapted from book, Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships: Your Personal Guide to Finding Right and Real Love by Michelle L. Casto

Michelle L. Casto, M.Ed. is a Whole Life Coach, Speaker, and Author of the Get Smart! LearningBook Series: Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships, Get Smart! About Modern Career Development, and Get Smart! About Modern Stress Management. Her coaching practice is called Brightlight Coaching because she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life and empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. www.getsmartseries.com and www.brightlightcoach.com

My own concept of career is like a wardrobe, where you “try on” different outfits throughout your lifetime, and continue to check mirror to see if it still fits and matches your current style and taste. In modern world of work, you will need to find work that is “suited” to you. Think of your life’s work as your wardrobe. It is ever-changing as you move through life, changing as your styles and interests change. Throughout process, you will be tailoring yourself to fit different roles, and to meet changing work styles and expectations.

Thus, today, way in which we go about planning and strategizing our work life is constantly changing. We are taking a more proactive---therefore more exciting and challenging approach--- to managing which way our career takes us. People are daring to walk their unique paths, and ignoring traditional routes. In fact, tomorrow’s jobs are relatively unknown to us at this time, as there will be new titles and new career fields that will develop. If a modern career is like a wardrobe, you will wear many kinds of outfits throughout a lifetime, sometimes mixing and matching ensembles, but always checking to see that it still reflects your current style and remains a good fit. It has been said that clothes make man—what you are displaying to world through your choice of clothing is how you express yourself. Similarly, how you express yourself and what you value is reflected in work you choose to perform. As Mark Twain said, “There is no security in life, only opportunity.” Given today’s changing times, we cannot hold onto one idea for very long---there is so much good work that must be done to help us evolve to our fullest potential. We are multi-talented, multi-faceted beings with many gifts to share. We cannot lock ourselves into any one job or job path. We must walk our path, but remain flexible and open to new experiences. We also need to learn our lessons along way. Each job, no matter how small, is meaningful and is part of our career plan in that we are always building onto our careers. Today’s work will prepare us for tomorrow’s opportunities.