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5. Become an attentive listener. Multitasking may be necessary at work, however it will make you appear distracted when discussing something important with your teenager. Learn to focus.
6. Ask
right questions without appearing to interrogate them. It is important that they not fear coming to you to discuss what is important to them. It is equally important that they feel that you will take
time to understand what they are trying to communicate.
7. Do not judge them for their actions or ever say, “I told you so! This helps in having them continue to come to you to discuss topics, and encourages them to do things better
next time.
8. When helping your teenager with problem solving, discuss
desired outcomes first, and what they need to do to resolve their problem. Then allow them to proactively make their own decisions based upon
facts rather than reacting to their emotions.
9. Set guidelines instead of making rules for your teens to follow. They should have input into
guidelines, and then be expected to follow them. They will perceive this as fair and in their best interests.
10. “Hang out” together as oppose to just spending time together. Remember that there is a difference between motion and productivity, so make your time together interactive. For example, if you go to a movie, then go for an ice cream and discuss
movie. Or play some “one on one” games or sports. Do what best friends do!
If you want to be a better parent, don’t forget
child within you. All too often, we get so wrapped up in being an adult that we forget how to have fun and enjoy life. I found that by using my imagination, I rekindled my creativity, and this made me an “okay guy” for my teenagers to hang out with.
Copyright 2004 by V. Michael Santoro and Jennifer S. Santoro, All Rights Reserved

V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed. has ten years of experience as an educator. He is also certified in Training and Development with over eighteen years of industry experience. He coauthored, "Realizing the Power of Love," How a father and teenage daughter became best friends…and how you can too, with his teenage daughter Jennifer S. Santoro. For more information visit their Web site: http://www.dads-daughters.com