5. Write down your resolutions

Write them down and stick them on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your car dashboard, your desk or wherever you know will be a good place for you to see them. You can also show them to a good friend, family member, your coach or anyone who could provide support and encouragement.

6. Create action steps for each resolution; write these down, and keep an accounting of your progress for each.

A resolution without planned action is doomed to failure. Break each goal down into small action steps or objectives. Putting a date for completion will help ensure you follow through. Come up with an accountability system that will work for you. Make sure you check off each accomplishment as you go and be flexible and willing to make adjustments in your action steps in order to achieve your desired end results.

7. Take care of yourself; eat well, exercise regularly and learn to control and eliminate unhealthy stress.

I know this is an obvious one, so why is it often ignored or overlooked when we are attempting to make important life changes? How many times have you said, “I don’t have time” to eat right, exercise, sleep, etc.? Not caring for yourself will guarantee failure. So, why not make this your first and most important resolution for 2003?

8. Work to eliminate bad habits

Including this as a New Year’s resolution would put you on road to good follow-through. Bad habits will sabotage your efforts and use up your limited resources of time, energy and focus. For each bad habit you decide to eliminate, have a good habit in mind to replace it with.

9. Set appropriate and healthy limits in all areas of your life

Knowing your limits and enforcing them with yourself and others is a prerequisite to a healthy life and relationships. Learn to say “no” and “enough” and be firm in your resolve that this is a good thing to do. Otherwise, you will also be undermining your resolution to take care of yourself.

10. Work to be kind of person you want to be with

Bringing out best qualities in yourself will help to ensure that you attract people of good quality into your life. You wouldn’t want to compromise on standards you have set for a potential mate. Therefore, it’s important to understand that this also holds true for other people in search of relationships.

At this point, Adam seemed a strong front-runner. Do you remember what qualities Melana highlighted as she discussed her feelings about him? "He's funny, down-to-earth, smart, liked by everyone, and just a great guy." Do you remember their first "passionate" kiss, and how surprised Melana was at what a great kisser Adam is? We have to wonder why she was so surprised. Perhaps because he didn't look like type? But he clearly was. It appeared that Melana was forming a strong bond with him that included all of elements that love requires- including physical attraction.

So what happened?

Enter hunks. Do you remember Melana's face as they were brought into room? Pleased would be a good description. Her physical attraction to them was obvious and strong. She used words like "handsome, great body, too pretty", to describe them. Still, she was drawn to Adam.

As show went on, Melana had individual dates. She decided to go out with new guys to give them a chance. She eliminated Zack, to whom she had admitted having a strong physical attraction for, while being unsure about his other attributes.

Towards end, it was Adam vs Jason. Who would she choose and why? Clearly, way Jason looked was a major factor in his staying on. However, Melana also talked about her comfort with him and ease she felt in their ability to communicate. Melana also rated their physical intimacy as great. Indeed scenes shown from their dates demonstrated a strong chemistry. Melana was very drawn to him. But what about Adam?

Do you remember how Melana showed mixed feelings on her second to last date with Adam? She expressed that she felt conflicted. Adam was hurt and said so. Even so, they were able to go on with date and have a pretty good time. On their last date, there seemed to be a real bond. Melana got a lot more information about Adam. He is successful, hard working, has many close friends and healthy family relationships. Clearly, she was impressed and drawn to all of these traits. But not enough....

So why her final choice? Melana found friendship, good communication, compatibility, mutual respect, comfort and attraction with Adam. She also found these with Jason. In addition, there was a STRONGER physical attraction. Remember her words, "look at him, who could resist that face".

The answer for her final decision? I can only speculate here. However I believe it had to do with her level of maturity and self-knowledge. Someone with greater self-awareness, a strong handle on their life goals and a level of maturity that teaches us that looks fade while other attributes become stronger over time; may very well have chosen Adam. Instead, Melana appeared to have succumbed to immediate passions of here and now, instead of looking ahead to who would be best choice for husband, father and partner in future and sometimes harrowing journey of commitment, marriage and family life.

I read with interest that Melana and Jason's "relationship" appeared to be over after their return from their final fantasy date. I was not at all surprised. One can only guess what went on. I think a good guess is that they got to know each other better without pressure and competition that had come before.. Perhaps Melana began to see that along with his sweetness, Jason had a strong passivity towards life, whereas Adam strove for achievement through hard work and determination. Jason seemed to be in need of time and maturity before he would be able to move towards an intimate and committed relationship and responsibilities and challenges that come with it.

No one but Jason and Melana will ever know for sure. I just can't help but wonder if she will regret her decision and wish she had been older and wiser when she was asked to make it.

I'd love to hear YOUR thoughts and ideas regarding Melana and her choice of Jason. If you'd like to express them, please go to www.consum-mate.com to contact me.