8. Not knowing when to stop. Too much information can not be absorbed by audience.

9. Not having enough information. The talk should have substance and knowledge of client's business.

10. Not being sensitive to audience. Do not use ethnic stories or off color remarks. Politics and religion should be avoided unless you are a member of clergy.

POINT: The effectiveness of a talk is whether audience enjoyed it and found it useful. Did talk influence their behavior positively and productively once they returned to their jobs?

After all, no one’s going to be explaining Chaos Theory at one of these things, and if you try to, eyes will glaze over. Work on your tone of voice. It starts with self-awareness. What is yours now? Likely high, anxious and you talk too fast, or clam up completely, or combine it, blurting something out then freezing up. On this fact-finding mission, listen to someone who does this well. How do you know they do it well? You enjoy being around them and so does everyone else.

7.Spontaneous.

Once you’ve memorized and practiced, you must move o to “spontaneous.” If not you’re stuck. Get some coaching.

8.It’s called “small talk” because it’s small talk.

Don’t get into any length discussions of anything important unless you get in a two-in-two with someone who’s equally interested. Small talk means something not important and not controversial. Available topics are day-to-day things that are right in front of you, such as “Where did you get that pin?” “Do you like it when it’s cold like this,” How was you day?” and “What are your plans for …?”

9.Don’t take it personally.

You can only rise to level of your co-conversationalist, and you need to keep in mind there are people at all levels. None of tips – small talk, open-ended questions, a lilt in your voice – will work with someone who’s clueless. It’s not always about you.

10.Keep at it.

We tend to forget that we learned much harder things in life – how to walk, how to talk, how to keyboard, and how to parent.

11.Learn Optimism, an EQ competency.

It’s particularly helpful in “performance” situations, and that’s what a networking event is. Anticipate best, be curious and expectant. Why? Well, why not?