Teenagers Taking Risks

1. If at all possible, enrol your teen in a class or organisation where they can test their limits in a relatively safe environment eg sports, dance, scouts/guides, army/navy/air cadets.

2. For those that need to prove themselves, give them chores that allow them to show off their new found physical strengths; re-think chores they do to see if there are some more suited to their abilities. Receiving success, achievement and a sense of self-worth at home reduces need to look for it elsewhere.

3. Use language associated with 'I'm Invincible' to acknowledge your teen in day-to-day life. Words such as courage, brave, strong, determined, overcome, etc, can also be used to motivate your teen.

4. Examine your own fears; are your fears based on objective, rational information, or have they been exacerbated by other peoples' stories or news reports. Get facts not media hype.

5. Explain your fears to your teen by expressing concern over what others might do. If you express doubt in their abilities you will just make them more determined to prove you wrong. Eg "I don't want you riding your bike late at night because drivers are more likely to have accidents then" is much more readily received than "I don't want you riding your bike late at night because you might have an accident".

6. Do not use evidence of their mistakes to do 'I told you so'. Recognise mistakes as valuable learning, and then acknowledge learning as you would any other type of learning.
   
   

   Carol Shepley has been involved with teenagers for over 10 years and, as the parent of a teen herself, fully understands the pressures placed on parents and teens today. She now shares this knowledge and experience through her website http://www.growingupmatters.com so that parents can help their teens become resilient, resourceful and responsible adults.
   
   
   

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