To prevent this, you must step back and take in entire thing.

Some times you may need to take a few steps back. And maybe even a few to one side. Or maybe you need to walk around it.

You must experiment. Move. Test your perceptions -- physical and philosophical -- until you come to an understanding of what it is that you are seeing.

Life, like art, is much same way.

Sometimes what we need is not to examine what we do more carefully, more exactly, but rather opposite. --Let us step back. See how pieces fit. How it all mixes together.

We may find that we are much closer to creating our goals than we think.

And we just may learn that a step back is often a step forward.

STRINGS. Guys, I see many you making a crucial mistake in your profiles. You will find that women are seldom looking for a "no strings relationship." There simply is no such thing... if it is a relationship, it has strings of SOME sort. If you don't want strings, you are looking for an escort service. Women of any description can find casual physical relationships without lifting a finger to a keyboard. Don't lie, but think about which "strings" are okay with you. "Seeking Torrid Summer Romance" is fine and honest. So is, "I am not eager to move in or get married. I want to have a regular date for parties and cookouts with my friends." Ladies, this counts for you, too. If your personal ad sounds like you might be offering paid sexual services, you are going to get some rude offers. You might avoid phrases like, "looking for a wealthy man with good taste in jewelry."

BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever really dated someone just for their eye color? OK, maybe you have spectacular eyeballs. But ads tend to reel off personal stats... and then stop there, as though there were nothing but a body. Most personal sites let you click things to describe your eyes, hair, and height... don't waste valuable profile space on your hair. Talk about who you are first, and what you look like at end. Want to know number one thing surveyed women look for in a guy? A sense of humor.

AVOID NEGATIVES. This is not place to list all things that drove you crazy about your ex and how you won't put up with that again. Don't list what you don't want... discuss what you DO want. Turn your own lifestyle quirks into positives, not obstacles. Workaholic? Try, "My career keeps me very busy, so I need someone with a flexible schedule for spontaneous one-day adventures." Frugal to a fault? Try "I find it amusing to squeeze a nickel 'til it screams... help me research for my web column "CheapDates for CheapSkates." Worried people will regard your children as an obstacle? "My family is very important to me and I hope to find someone that will enjoy attention of a warm family circle."

POST A PHOTO. Website statistics show that an ad with a photo is 80% more likely to get a response. A photo that shows you relaxed and having fun, no matter what you look like, is even better. Don't use a photo that isn't current.. it isn't worth looking so insecure, or being rejected later. Don't rush to ask for a photo... you may look like a "pic trader," someone who is collecting photos rather than looking for a real date. Don't stress about your looks... attraction is about more than looks. Yes, we often are first attracted to someone by looks, when we meet in person. But on Internet, if you seem like a jerk, you won't get chance to meet in person.

LIFE STAGES. People often say that "age" is not as important as "life stage." Where are you in your life? Just starting out in a new career? Settled into life with kids? Empty-nesting? Exploring new interests? These are things that matter. Talk about what is important in your life. "I am established in my career and now turning my attention to great books I never had time to read." "I moved to this state for a job after college, and I am looking for dates with a lot of outdoors-loving friends to help me build a sporty new social circle."

FAVORITE THINGS. Listing ALL your favorite things is dizzying.. Choose one good example and talk about why you like it. Choose something that gives reader an insight into what you enjoy. You want people to be able to spot things you have in common, but also feel that there is something new and interesting to learn about you. Interest them in learning more with a "teaser" about something fascinating about you. Ask a question for them to answer in reply email.

RULES. Never... NEVER include your last name, phone number or address. Observe rules of various websites... some do not allow you to post web addresses or email addresses. Many prohibit crude language or sexual references. Getting your ad removed by breaking rules is a waste of time.

So... let your personality be shown in a tasteful way, take time to do a good job, and have a good photo. Those things alone will put you far ahead of misspelled anonymous pack. Best of luck!

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