Taking A Little Time Out For TimeWritten by Timothy Ward
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I feel extreme need to insert a time cliche here. This cliche makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and probably has pagan, barbaric origins, but I think it summarizes what we've learned thus far in our discussion. So here goes our first time cliche 'A stitch in time saves nine'. And now back to show.
There have been numerous different kinds of clocks throughout history. Many of them made absolutely no sense whatsoever. A good example of this is ancient Egyptian water clock, which was basically just a bowl with a hole in bottom of it. There were markings on inside of bowl that measured passage of 'hours' as water level reached them. One of obvious problems with this clock was fact that whenever working-class Egyptians wanted to get off work early they would keep taking little sips of water from bowl/clock throughout day. This was one of reasons it took so long to finish Pyramids.That and lack of power tools.
Time doesn't permit us to talk about other types of ancient clocks like obelisks, sundials, and hemicycles. And there definitely isn't time to go into merkhets.
Speaking of merkhets, a close cousin of clock is watch. The watch is time-telling device that most of us use today. We do not however, use it to tell time. We use it to do numerous other tasks that watch manufacturers have incorporated into watches like instant messaging, reading email, and fast forwarding DVD player. There's even a new watch on market that comes equip with a radiation detector. And you laughed at Eyptians for drinking from their time-telling devices.
Obviously, time is not something that can be explained in just one lesson. There's a ton of more interesting stuff we could go into about time but, frankly, I don't feel like taking time to look it up right now. I believe I've achieved my goal of using as many time cliches as I possibly could in one article and now, I think it's time to call an extended timeout on this whole time subject. I'm sure when I do write follow-up to this article that it will be just in nick of time. Probably sometime around Wayeb 1st.
Timothy Ward invites you to subscribe to his weekly humor column 'I Never Said I Was Normal' at timward.1afm.com
A Georgia Superhero!Written by Ed Williams
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Okay, there may be a couple of minor flaws in Red Clay Man, but hey, every superhero has his or her weaknesses. I guess he could only fight crime out in rural parts of Georgia because heíd have to keep his supply of red clay continually replenished, but hey, rural Georgia has crime too, right? And I suppose heíd need a way to get around our state in order to fight crime, so what better vehicle for him to ride around in and terrify evildoers with than Maypop Mobile? And, since most crime fighters need a sidekick, a partner, someone to help get him out of those tight superhero type scrapes that all great crime fighters get into, I guess Iíll need to create him one. Folks, I have perfect one in mind, Iíll team Red Clay Man up with our newest superhero sidekick, Boiled Peanut! Put those two together, and you have one heckuva crime fighting team, two superheroes thatíll put fear of our previous state flag into any evil doer that challenges them!
Red Clay Man and Boiled Peanut, our two newest superheroes and Georgia ones to boot! Hey, if we can host Olympics in Atlanta, and if we can elect a President from here, well, we can have our own superheroes, too! And, itís in our economic best interests if Red Clay Man catches on - just think about it. Batman is out there selling tons of t-shirts, toys, and more, just think of red clay samples we could ship out of here on account of our newest superhero! Why, proceeds from these sales might be so great that they could even help get City of Macon out of hock!
Edís latest book, ďRough As A Cob,ď can be ordered by calling River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. Heís also a popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at: email@example.com, or through his web site address at: www.ed-williams.com.