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On your own you can try a few of these pointers. Have in your mind goal that you want to achieve- a freely flowing communication with your children. You and your children should be able to talk to one another in a very calm expressive way using words, sentences, gestures, facial expressions and like. (Note: This means that yelling and screaming in anger is NOT considered a healthy communication. It will often result in listener reacting to outburst in a unhealthy way. This is especially true for when parents yell at their children.)
Take upon yourself to try some of following exercises, and see what results are:
- Show child that you are ready to listen and pay full attention to what child is saying. Let child feel that there is someone who is going to try to listen to them. This will cut down on degree of frustration for child.
- Encourage child to talk in full sentences if possible. Sometimes children (who can actually talk properly) often just whine, cry, or say one-word expressions, simply because they are accustomed to doing so.
- Prepare different options for child to express himself- signs, objects, drawing, etc. You need to be creative here. Sometimes ideas can be expressed in most unconventional ways- e.g. a child can create a scenario with toy figures.
- Make sure you are able to repeat to child what child said to you. This is a crucial part of process because for child this is guaranteed confirmation that you understood child’s expression.
Story: Someone hit 6-year-old Sally. Sally comes home crying. Mommy keeps on asking Sally what happened, but for some reason she can’t say it in words. Mommy takes Sally by hand and brings her over to art table where there is some paper and some big fat kiddie markers ready for her. Sally sits down and starts drawing in her 5-year-old way following picture: stick figures of a little girl and a little boy. The boy has his hand on girl’s face. Mommy sees this and figures that boy is hitting girl in face. She asks Sally if this is so. Sally nods. “AHA!” thinks Mommy. “now I understand.....”
Joseph Browns (http://www.home-educational-toys.com) wants to share his experiences and expertise in how parents can find valuable opportunities for quality time with children to acquire priceless family memories. A total environment approach is taken, dealing with issues like educational toys, parent-child relationships, environmental + interior design, health, communication skills, and child education.