TO JOURNAL OR NOT TO JOURNAL THAT IS THE QUESTIONWritten by Kay L. Schlagel
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Often when I’ve suggested journaling to people they tell me “I wouldn’t know what to write. I can’t write….etc.” there is no end to different excuses why they can’t do it. I just smile at them and say if all you can write for first few days, weeks, or even months is “I can’t think of anything to write down here,” and go from that, do it, but at least give it a month or two before giving up on it. Journaling is best way I know of communicating with that “inner you” whether it be inner child or just your sub-conscious. Journaling can be a great outlet for anyone no matter what his or her mental stability or state may be. I truly believe, however, that those of us who are still troubled by our past that journaling is one of most healing tools we can use. For those of us with MPD/DID I believe that journaling is a must. It is one private place that we,( personalities), can all talk to one another clearly without presence of another human being to react to. Without having to worry about that other person reacting to you or judging you, I’ve found I’ve had most pure form of communication between my alters (personalities), during journaling sessions. If you have noticed, I keep harping on word personal and private journal. Do not even attempt to journal if you have no expectation of privacy. I’ve suggested inexpensive locked safe boxes which you are only one with a key, or a really great hiding place. I was very lucky that I had a good expectation of privacy and my family knew to leave my journals alone or there would be an extremely high price to pay, (they weren’t sure what that price was going to be but they never seemed to want to find out). Later on, I kept them in a locked safe box with a key. Your journals are sacred and only you can decide if you want someone to read a part of them or if you never want anyone to read them ever. It’s a good feeling to finally have control over at least one thing in our life.
Kay is 46 y.o. artist/author who lives in Nebraska with two grown sons. See more of her writing at www.mdmkay.blogspot.com see/buy her artwork at www.jdkimports.com or www.artwanted.com/mdmkay
| | WHY YOU WANT WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVEWritten by Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
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3. “Psychological Reactance”: People don’t like to be told they can’t have or can’t do something. It’s related to not wanting to be controlled by others, especially if situation feels unfair or arbitrary. The “reactance” is both emotional and behavioral. The emotional part is your inner brat saying, “Oh yeah? I can’t have what I want? Just try and stop me!” The behavioral component is what you do about it, which usually involves some type of rebellious reaction. You see this with teenagers whose parents have forbidden them to date certain people. Reactance also explains why a “Wet Paint” sign always invites unwanted fingerprints on newly painted surface. Next time you don’t get what you want, ask yourself whether one of above factors has influenced your desire. If so, let go of pursuit. Your inner brat won’t be happy, but ultimately (in words of Rolling Stones,) you “might just find [that] you get what you need.”
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Wildcat Canyon Press, 2004) Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her free, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.
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