Continued from page 1
(2) are hanging out in herds on back nine -- far removed from hunter-matadors (swinging golf clubs, what else!)
(3) seem to be galloping at full speed toward you
(4) are doing a lot of snorting, panting, sweating and sniffing (while galloping at full speed toward you)
(5) occasionally are found breaking wind with ease (incidentally, some fetid-oriented folk consider them a “bullish” investment opportunity)
(6) are known to enjoy lumbering forward with little momentum when happy (or perhaps sick in their tummies from eating far too many hunter-matadors)
(7) are compatible with "one-eyed-one-horned-flying-purple-people-eaters" (although no one can remember their Latin name, let alone their nickname)
(8) are lurching up off their knees and standing, swaying ever so gayly and giddyly (especially if they've had one too many whiffs of grass)
(9) get a tad crimson in neck (because they simply can't abide being called, "perky", "cute" or heaven forbid, "bellicose") and
(10) show no remorse about thundering around universe and scaring pikka birds half to death, hurtling hunting-matadors all over place, and then galloping off into nothingness or vanishing into thin air (whichever comes first).
For more information about Pefectly Normal Beasts, please read Mostly Harmless (by late, great British humorist, Douglas Adams).
* The Official Douglas Adams site -- http://www.douglasadams.com
* The BBC's Unconventinal Guide to Life, Universe & Everything --http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2
For those wishing to know more about Perfectly Normal Beasts, check out paltry 200 website listings devoted to this somewhat obscure topic (according to gigantic Google Guessing Gizmo http://www.google.com).
Copyright, Victoria Elizabeth, "The Quipping Queen", 2004.
Victoria Elizabeth is a self-proclaimed "Quipping Queen" who lives in a crazy castle by the sea in Victoria, B.C. (Canada). She can be found on most days doing a little musing through the pages of her bodacious blog at www.quippingqueen.blogspot.com or receiving greetings from the realm courtesy of her email: email@example.com