Written by Adrian Air-of-Sleet

Continued from page 1

Hypopotamus – a short-legged, thick-skinned, under-performing vegetarian creature with limited bench-pressing abilities

Jokel – An Old World dog with a wicked sense of humor and lots of tricks up his sleeve

Kingflasher – a big name bird whose crests and crowns never cover his breast and tail discretely

Mongooser – a flat-witted, feisty-footed, posterior-pinching paramour of unknown origin

Pantelope – a graceful, butt-crack beast that lives in elevators and rides a bike to work

Pottypus – a toilet-trained, duck-billed devil from Tasmania

Scantelope – a fleet-of-foot, bare-all buxom beast (whose revealing exploits are chronicled inrepparttar best-selling naturist book, “What Really Went On Behindrepparttar 147279 Scenes inrepparttar 147280 Garden of Eden”)

Screech fowl – a breath-taking barnyard beast that hasn’t learned when to keep his/her trap shut

Screwupworm – a two-winged whimsical creature that nuzzles inrepparttar 147281 nostrils of a few nobodies as lackadaisical larva do, and then promptly engages in some serious botching activities (often with incredibly bewildering if not totally blundering results)

Scuzzard – a dirty, contemptible, shabby-looking vulture with a bad case of halitosis (but good enough to become a mood-enhancing mascot on a u-brew beer label)

Slack Widow – a spiteful, supine, and very venomous Old World Spiderwoman

Springblotch – a clean, youthful, four-footed freak of nature that makes a mess of everything

Swelldish – a pleasant-looking puffer that makes one blush at first sight

Swilldebeest – a swashbuckling species that rarely count its drinks and eats freely, greedily or to excess if givenrepparttar 147282 least opportunity

Titter Sucker – a boisterous bawling bird with a tipsy tongue (commonly found in Canadian wet bars)

Too-Too Titi – a la-di-da little scamp with a long tail and an engaging smile…what else!

Whopping Crane – a large, nearly extinct American bird that beats its breast, flaps its wings, and yells “Cowabunga” for no apparent reason at all

Willeye – a good-natured, willing-ready-and-able creature that spends most of its futile life swimming around in quality-improvement circles

So, if you end up in a hole-in-the-wall-place and loose your power of positive thinking – don’t forget to organize a titillating twisted tongue tournament – it’ll do wonders do bring outrepparttar 147283 wonky wordpeckers who live there, not to mention odd-ball strangers.

Adrian Air-of-Sleet is a casual conundrum in the Court of the Quipping Queen ( where he shares his vacuous thoughts with other arcane members of society.

Country Pastimes 2: Bale surfing

Written by Simon Mitchell

Continued from page 1

The successful surfer will abandonrepparttar bale (bale out) whenrepparttar 147238 roll becomes too dangerous, leaping offrepparttar 147239 bale to one side orrepparttar 147240 other. Do not in any circumstances abandonrepparttar 147241 bale inrepparttar 147242 direction ofrepparttar 147243 roll unless you want a large bale of hay to run over you (wipe-out). Do not jump onto your 'bale spring'.

Racing rolls: In fields where there are two or more adjacent bales, surfers race each other. This may involve usingrepparttar 147244 contours ofrepparttar 147245 land to set up converging rolls (knock-out), or a straight race. The surfers will bale out at an agreed spot to avoid hedge injuries.

Night rolling: Make sure to reccerepparttar 147246 field inrepparttar 147247 daylight for obvious dangers like barbed wire or bulls, rams or llamas and if night surfing, make sure you haverepparttar 147248 right field.

Farmers: If you can gainrepparttar 147249 co-operation of a farmer to set up a surf meet this is an advantage. Farmers may well shoot you if they find you engaging in this sport illegally, which besides being dangerous to you is destructive to their property. But at least it doesn't involve ripping foxes to shreds with dogs.

No responsibility for any injuries incurred by anyone undertaking this sport are accepted by this author.

Secrets of Creativity is a revolutionary new ebook from top internet author Simon Mitchell

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