Written by Victoria Elizabeth

Continued from page 1

Jelly beans are also great ice-breakers at slumber parties not to mention a "hot" topic aroundrepparttar wet-noodle water cooler. If nothing else, they'll certainly add oodles of fun and frolic torepparttar 118157 world of work. Let's face it, they're a pleasant relief fromrepparttar 118158 daily deluge of pointless picayune meetings, spam email about products you don't want, or vexing voice mail messages, (you really couldn't give a sweet tweet about -- even if it is from your best friend, The Easter Bunny).

The universe looks infinitely more palatable with a bit of jest and jiggle. And,repparttar 118159 importance of this humble yummy forrepparttar 118160 tummy inrepparttar 118161 great scheme of things cannot be emphasized enough.

-- "You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans." (Ronald Reagan)

-- "Life is like jelly beans, and sometimes you get your favorite color." (Author Unknown)

-- "A friend is like a bowl of Jelly Beans... Good torepparttar 118162 bottom ofrepparttar 118163 bowl." (Author Unknown).

Byrepparttar 118164 way, in case you're wondering just how vital these chewy tidbits really are, why not take a pleasurable peek at more than 116,000 websites devoted to this tasty tongue-in-cheek topic. And do enjoy a licorice lick, a chocolate chomp or a green gigglebite on me,repparttar 118165 next time your fickle fingers feel like visitingrepparttar 118166 jocular jelly-bean jar!!

Victoria Elizabeth enjoys musing about Life, the Universe, and Everything in between from the pages of her bodacious blog aptly entitled, "The Quipping Queen" (


Written by Theolonius McTavish

Continued from page 1

It seems however thatrepparttar American patriots really missed not having any slow-moving big bad beasts to ride or moth-eaten mammoths inrepparttar 118156 rec-room to show off to inquisitive neighbors. In fact, so adoring were they ofrepparttar 118157 absent gargantuan, grumpy, four-footed mammal that they decided to give it a prominent political position in their country, asrepparttar 118158 symbol ofrepparttar 118159 US Republican Party.

Speaking of elephants**, Abraham Lincoln certainly recognizedrepparttar 118160 virtue of having long, flexible-snouted folks as friends and allies, even ifrepparttar 118161 other side didn't. More importantly, he knew how to manage a herd of elephants in a democratic society. Never stand in front, behind or under them, and according to Abe, "When you have got an elephant byrepparttar 118162 hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run."

Of course, letting elephants runrepparttar 118163 affairs of state hadrepparttar 118164 unintended consequence of fewer job opportunities for bonified politicians, pundits and policy analysts. That's whyrepparttar 118165 equal opportunity folks in America encouragedrepparttar 118166 adoption of 'donkeys' asrepparttar 118167 symbol ofrepparttar 118168 Democratic Party.

The best laid plans ofrepparttar 118169 pragmatists did not however appear to be working all that well. To top it all off,repparttar 118170 growing number of “white elephants” and "jackasses" everywhere began to cause a commotion. Something had to happen and fast!

The answer came inrepparttar 118171 form of several delightful diversions. An ingenius circus promoter named P.T. Barnum found a way to make people laugh and make pots of moolah fromrepparttar 118172 likes of a great gallumping galoot named “Jumbo”. The tradition continued with a magical movie mogul named Walt Disney. He wasrepparttar 118173 man behind a fictional, flying elephant named “Dumbo”, a "Daffy Duck" and a mouse named "Mickey", not to mention profitable outdoor theme parks built to house allrepparttar 118174 critters and mollifyrepparttar 118175 munchkin families.

While it's true that British author A.A. Milne created an elusive, honey-eating, flat-footed fictional character named “Heffalump” to keep Piglet and friends happy, thanks torepparttar 118176 invention of television andrepparttar 118177 American edu-tainment industry, millions of tiny tots aroundrepparttar 118178 globe will never forget “Sesame Street” and an unusual wooly mammoth named, “Aloysius Snuffleupgas”. Nor will they forgetrepparttar 118179 Dr. Seuss tale about "Horton", an endearing elephant, and incidentallyrepparttar 118180 only being on Earth who's aware of an entire civilization of wee folk living on a single dandelion.

So, if you think that elephants are an endangered species…you might want to think again. They seem to be alive and doing rather well in game preserves, zoos, theme parks, museums, books and television shows. And if you haven't had your fill of elephants, why not enjoy their starring role in a new Disney film, entitled "Pooh's Heffalump Movie", to be released on February 11, 2005.

(Note: Heffalump Hunters Beware – bagged beasts are simply not inrepparttar 118181 cards for you next year, so stop whining and take up tiddlywinks or croquet! And for those who are valiantly trying to tell their family and friends aboutrepparttar 118182 proverbial 'elephant inrepparttar 118183 living room' -- they can't hear you -- they're too worried about a bull inrepparttar 118184 china shop or what to wear for Halloween!)


**The importance of elephants should not be underestimated as revealed inrepparttar 118185 famous last words of a U.S. Civil War general (one John Segwick), who learned his lessonrepparttar 118186 hard way. In answer to his troops' urgings to take cover, he replied in a short-sighted if not stupefying manner, "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-."

Theolonius McTavish is an eccentric collector of odd facts and things that go bumpty bump bump bump in broad daylight. He also moonlights as a visiting wordpecker in the court of The Quipping Queen at

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